DAY 30 - WHERE DID ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?

Although I started this for myself, I’m surprised at how many people are reading my blog: over 3500 in the past month, and 8000+ ever. When I look at Facebook I’ll see a post that has maybe a dozen “Likes” and maybe a comment or two – and then go look at the Stats on my blog and see that over 200 people have read it.

   Don’t get me wrong – I am incredibly flattered. I started this 83-day Journey for myself, but between the Comments, Facebook Messages, and personal conversations I am learning that there are quite a few people out there that are silently reading it. And from a few of the messages I’ve received, it’s helping others too.

   As a kid, I used to press my ear against my bedroom wall – and early mornings and late nights I could hear the tap-tap-tap of my father typing in the Kitchen. Dad was always a writer. Born into a newspaper family, he grew up with ink in his blood – and watched his father and grandfather work at getting the paper out together every day. When he was age 23, Dad bought out his grandfather’s share of the Preston Citizen – and was the youngest newspaper owner in Idaho’s history (at least at the time). Even long after he sold (due to WWII), he continue to write – Red Cross, United Way, Kiwanis, and pretty much any organization he was involved in benefitted from his gift for writing. He was the editor of the Cal-Nev-Ha newspaper for Kiwanis for over 20 years. Even into his 80s, Dad worked on his Personal History – and a novel he’d always wanted to write, that he passed along to me to finish. And it’s literally in our blood, because among my uncles and cousins, there are at least a dozen of us that write – both personally and professionally. I guess it’s just what Roes do.

   And in today’s society, we are readers. We are Information Junkies. Even within Facebook, I think my newstream is filled with as many Shared Links as personally posted photos and updates. Nobody uses an encyclopedia anymore – we just Google it, and often end up on someone’s blog. Sometimes just for a random bit of information or instruction, sometimes we follow blogs of specific people we like or are interested in.

   We have become Internet Voyeurs. Without even leaving our house, we can be Peeping Toms, looking into the windows of people all over the country, all over the world. Through their blogs we sneak-a-peek through their curtains and see what it going on inside. And as someone who lives in a glass house, I have admittedly left the curtains wide open.

   Sometimes I write something that I expect to get read, like Divorce vs. Annulment – because it was something that I couldn’t find information about. Sometimes it’s something that I know is a bit of a “Hot Topic” like Women and the Priesthood  – which I want to express my opinion about. But sometimes it’s just my personal ramblings about my messy desk or playing the piano – and still they get read. And there is something about knowing that people are reading that pushes me to continue to write, to try to be funny or eloquent, to push myself as a writer more than I ever have.

   That’s really why I started blogging – because it pushes me beyond my own limits. I’ve been a rather faithful Journal Writer for many years. Many (if not most) of my journal entries never get finished – but I just stop when I run out of time. But with blogging, it has to be thought-out and complete. I write a rough draft, and I go back and edit it (usually a couple of times). I take some time to find a photo or quote (or two) that I think adds to my own words. It’s a finished and completed Writing – hopefully with a cherry on top.

   Because, in reality, it isn’t just a few hundred random words that I’m putting out there – it’s a part of me, maybe the deepest part of me. Writing is looking deep within, and finding some small piece of my soul to share with the world – and polishing it and shaping it. For most of my life, all of my writing just got shoved in a drawer or tucked on a shelf. But this blogging world has allowed me to put my heart out there. It’s scary – rather terrifying – to do, but also incredibly rewarding too.

   So I do it, every day, for a whole month now. Putting my heart on paper, and waiting – wondering what people will think. For the most part, I have no idea what people really think. These Internet Voyeurs stalk around silently, so I have no idea who they are or what they think. But I am grateful for the positive comments from friends, and for the reading by strangers too. And, because I have shared this piece of my soul with you, that somehow connects us – makes us friends. And more than the thousands of clicks on my blog, I’m grateful for the hundreds of new connections that I have out there in the world.

I will write until not a single word 

remains in my soul … 

until every story in my heart has been told … 

until my mind’s well of ideas is bone dry … 

and even then I will write on 

because writing is not just something I do 

but part of who I am.

DAY 29 - EATING IN BED

As a chronic insomniac I have HORRIBLE sleeping habits – and I’m not exactly a morning person, so I wake up a bit slowly. And this morning, I didn’t wake up alone – I rarely do. As soon as they know it’s safe, the Puppy Welcoming Committee enthusiastically engages in Puppy Snuggles – truly the best way to start the day.

   Unfortunately this morning’s snuggles came with a surprise, and not a happy one. As I petted the puppies, something warm and gooey – and brown. Ick! And it wasn’t just on the puppy, it was all over the bed.

   I did what we all do – I smelled it. I don’t know why it’s what we all do, but even YOU smell stuff. But it didn’t smell bad. In fact, it smelled delicious! (But, no, I didn’t taste it.)

   I have a bad habit, a very bad habit: I eat in bed. Usually just snacks, often at 2am – only occasionally healthy. There’s that old song “You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed” – but who wants to do that? Crackers? But chocolate on the other hand . . . .  Yummmmm!

   So, yes, this morning, I was greeted by Chocolate-Covered Puppy. Now usually I would be happy with Chocolate-Covered “something/anything” – I’ve even eaten Chocolate-Covered Ants before. But Chocolate-Covered Puppy isn’t edible – so what’s the point?

   After a quick Puppy Bath (not an appreciated gesture), then my bath (no picture will be posted of that), I stripped the bed – a huge hassle and a huge bed, and 2 loads of laundry to clean it all.

   Oh well, at least tonight I get to sleep in clean sheets. And tonight I think I’ll stick to a Midnight Snack of Gummy Bears – or maybe even crackers.

DAY 28 - PLAYING AROUND -- the Perfect Sunday Afternoon Activity

I love coming home on Sunday afternoons, opening the doors to my beautiful little Courtyard, and playing the piano. I could play for hours – and typically do. There’s something relaxing about just opening a book of sheet music as those little black dots tell my fingers just precisely how to dance across the keys. I’ve played the piano for years, and I’m still not quite sure I understand how it all really works.

   And the music floats on the air, and bounces around the little courtyard a bit before it floats off into the sky. The dogs run in-and-out, loving having the doors open – and the birds living in the Courtyard Wisteria don’t seem to mind the music at all. Fortunately, neither do the neighbors.

   Sundays are about the only day I play the piano anymore. I’m not sure why, but I guess I just get too busy during the week – and piano-playing is a bit of a luxury that I don’t often allow myself time for. Except on Sundays, because it is an appropriate Sunday-type activity – so that’s when I indulge.

   I’ve played the piano off-and-on most of my life, but it wasn’t really until I was in college that I got any good. In my whole life, I’ve only taken about 3½ years of lessons. But when I got to college I had more opportunity to play, and more motivation, so I practiced A LOT – and all that practicing paid off. In college I made pretty decent grocery money playing at Weddings and for Vocal Auditions. (Although, if truth be told, I would have played for free – because I truly just enjoy it.)

   My one “Claim to Fame” in this world is one wedding I played at a dozen or so years ago. Instead of a regular “corporate” job, I was primarily teaching piano and playing at wedding receptions after my mom died (so I could spend more time with Dad) – and one day I got a call about a reception. It was last minute, and they asked on a Wednesday if I was available for Friday – which I was – so I jotted down all the detail for the wedding. It was at a reception center in Lehi, which I played at fairly regularly – and when it got to the names of the Bride and Groom, well the groom was an Osmond. What? The father of the groom was one of the Osmond Brothers (I can’t remember which anymore - Alan, Merrill, Wayne). I remember asking: “You mean the Osmonds don’t know anyone in Utah that can play the piano???”  Hey, it was $200 for 2-hours of playing, so I was in. When I got there, Debbie Gibson came and sat next to me on the piano bench, flipping through my sheet music, saying “Play this!”, and singing – joined in by a wide-variety of Osmonds. It was the funnest and most nerve-wracking 2-hours of piano playing of my life. And a memory I will never forget.

   Nowadays I’m more along the speed of playing in Relief Society and the occasional Musical Number at church – which is just fine with me. I play because I enjoy it. There is something healing about music – and for a few hours, on a Sunday afternoon, I am transported. I am whole. I am somewhere the troubles of the world don’t exist, and I am at peace.

   If you have nothing going on some Sunday, come on over, sit in my Courtyard, and I’ll play one of my favorites for you.

Music

gives a soul to the universe,

wings to the mind,

flight to the imagination,

and life to everything else.

-- Plato

DAY 27 - WOMEN AND THE PRIESTHOOD -- or "Ladies, keep your pants on."

Tonight was the General Women’s Broadcast for the LDS Church – basically the “Kickoff Session” to the Semi-Annual General Conference that happens next weekend.

   The past few years there has been an organization of Mormon Women that have been trying to pressure the leadership of the Mormon Church into making a change that would allow Mormon Women to hold the Priesthood. Their demonstrations have included: trying to “break” into the Priesthood session, the highly publicized “Wear Pants to Church Day”, and this year (next weekend) they are organizing to break into Priesthood sessions again – but this time into the Local Sessions instead of the big one in Salt Lake City.

   Really???  These women just don’t get it. First, as a Mormon Woman, I can hold the Priesthood any time I want to – and snuggling in front of a movie on a Friday evening, I typically do.  OK, all joking aside – do you see Mormon Men trying to break into the Women’s Session?  No, not one. Why? For the same reason I don’t attend Gambler’s Anonymous Meetings or attend Physics Symposiums at the UofU – because they aren’t relevant to me. Tonight was targeted specifically to a female audience, and the speakers were mostly women. Women talking to women about women. Hmmmmm, I sense a theme here. 

   So what’s the big deal about attending the Priesthood Session???  NOTHING! There’s nothing secret that happens there – heck, it’s even televised, posted on YouTube, and broadcast regularly on KBYU. And they’ve published the talks in a magazine for decades (and make them all available online within days). And men go to the Priesthood Session with men – especially fathers and sons. There’s fabulous tradition of generations of men attending together, often including ice cream together afterward. It’s men talking to men about men. That’s all.

   Honestly, I don’t want to hold the Priesthood. It’s not that I’m some passive woman that believes that women should come second place or be subservient – HECK NO! I am a strong-willed and independent woman, and I do believe in equity between the genders. But this whole “equality” view is wrong. Men and Women will never be equal – we’re just built differently, inside and out – and that’s a good thing. We balance each other out, and it’s about the give-and-take, the yin-and-yang, the partnership and working together. Equitable, but never equal.

   And my personal philosophy is that men get the Priesthood as a Consolation Prize. Admittedly, this isn’t Church Doctrine – but think about it. Women are given the greatest, most God-like gift in this life: the Gift of Creation. OK, admittedly men play a small part in that – but women are granted the amazing opportunity of feeling life create within them. And there is nothing that a man can experience in this life that even comes close. And that’s why, in my opinion, men are given the Priesthood. Where women have the opportunity to feel the Godly Act of Creation within their wombs, men are given the opportunity to Act in God’s Name. And God knew that by dividing the responsibilities, that men and women would have to work together – and that really is one of the great joys of this life.

   Besides, women in general tend to be more nurturing and service-oriented than men anyway – and working within the Priesthood compels men to nurturing and service-oriented acts. Because acts of service come more spontaneously to women, men have an organization that encourages them to do what comes to women naturally.

   So this weekend I was happy to go to the General Women’s Broadcast with the women in my family – and we had a great time, dinner and all. And next weekend I will NOT be trying to break-in to the Priesthood Session – because not only do I not agree with those women, but that I understand that I already have a higher place in God’s plan: As a Woman.

   Again, not doctrine – but my personal philosophy. So, no, I didn’t participate in Wear Pants to Church Day – but if there’s ever a Wear Pajamas to Church Day, then give me a call.

Priesthood is the means whereby 

the Lord acts through men to save souls. 

-- Elder David A. Bednar

DAY 25 - MAGICAL FOOD FAIRIES

It’s happened 2 nights in a row now – Magical Food Fairies have visited me. Now you might not be familiar with Magical Food Fairies – they are close cousins to the Tooth Fairy, and great-nieces to those adorable Fairy Godmothers.

   Yesterday these Magical Food Fairies left some delicious squash. Tonight some beautiful grape juice.

   Maybe it was my Single AND Unemployed blogpost the other day that generated some sympathies. Maybe EVERYONE in the world had squash and grape juice left on their doorsteps. Or maybe, just maybe, I am incredibly blessed to have some very dear friends who know that two of my favorite things in the world are squash and grape juice.

   But one thing I am certain of: it was Magical. Because it was Magical to me. To be thought of and to have someone make a kind gesture is the truest form of Magic. There is nothing more Magical in this world than Love and Friendship – and much more than squash and grape juice, THAT’s what was left on my doorstep.

   And the other thing I am certain of: they are Real! Not only is this not my first visit from Magical Food Fairies, but it's likely to not be my last. And they have the BEST timing – because somehow they "magically" know just when I need a little pick-me-up, or have just eaten the last crust of bread in the house. They are Real because Real people with Real hearts really know how to listen to the Spirit, and they follow the Real inspiration that Really touches peoples lives – like mine.

   So to the darling Magical Food Fairies that stopped by my house these past few evenings: Thank You! Thank you for the squash, the grape juice, and the Love and Friendship. And thank you for being Magical. And thank you for being Real. And thank you for the reminder that not only do we all need a little Magic in our lives every once-in-a-while – but that we can also BE Magic to someone, by a small simple gesture.

The day I decided that my life was magical, 

there was suddenly magic all around me.

DAY 23 -- SINGLE AND UNEMPLOYED -- the similarities between First Dates and Job Interviews

Being Single and Unemployed has a lot of parallels, and both are a bit unnerving. And in the 21st Century, both are mostly handled online. 

   For my birthday in June a girlfriend gave me a membership on a dating website – with a “get back on that horse” instruction. After saying “NO!” (or rather H@$% NO!), she gently said that if I didn’t do my own profile that she would do it for me. Not wanting any of that, I relented and created a profile – and after my Accidental Date maybe an intentional one wouldn’t be so bad.

   And now (as of last week) I am also Job Hunting again. I have updated my profile on LinkedIn, reviewed my resume, and started sending it out.

   Whether my Dating Profile or my Work Resume, it’s all about carefully choosing the right words to catch someone’s attention. It’s about putting forth your strengths, and presenting yourself in a way that will draw the right situation. Although my Dating Profile is much more laid-back than my resume – both are designed to present me in the best possible light.

   So now I sit – waiting for someone to respond. Both personally and professionally, I’m just waiting to see what will happen. It’s a bit nerve-wracking – this Patience Game. On both fronts, I get negative or no responses from some that surprise me – and I get approaches and positive responses from others that also surprise me. I guess that’s just how life is.

   I’ve met a couple of nice guys online, and even been on a handful of dates. And today I had my first Job Interview. Hopefully there are more of each in my future. And there are sooooo many similarities between the two, including:

•    First Appearances count. Although the wardrobe is definitely different, it’s still about doing the hair and makeup – and wanting to make a good impression.
•    Lots of questions. Why are you single/unemployed? What happened in your previous marriage/job? What are you looking for in a new relationship/employer?
•    And, wondering if there will be a Second Date/Second Interview.

   And, I’m in a good place for each. I’m not in a rush to find the next relationship or the next job – and I am definitely going to take my time to find the right situation for each. With dating, I’m just having fun, meeting some nice guys, and seeing what my options are. With employment, I’m networking and making connections, looking for the right job situation, and seeing what my options are.

   I don’t like being either Single nor Unemployed. I don’t expect to spend the rest of my life alone, and I certainly can’t be without an income for very long. But for now both are right for me – and when the right opportunity (in each) comes along I’ll be ready.

Currently I am Single and Unemployed 

-- heck, if I played video games 
and lived in my parents basement, 
I'd be the Full Package. 

DAY 22 -- 21-DAYS TO MAKE A HABIT

I was fortunate enough to start my now-20-year Training Career at Franklin Covey. It was fabulous to work for a Training Company (especially the best in the business), because I got to attend the trainings all the time. I still use the stuff I learned in 7 Habits, Principle-Centered Leadership, etc., in both my personal and professional life.

   One of Stephen Covey’s leading principles is that it takes 21-days to MAKE or BREAK a habit. I love this principle, teach it frequently, and I use it constantly in my personal life. To change something “forever” seems too daunting most of the time to me – but for 21 days???  Heck, even I can do that.

   It’s how I approach diets or healthy-eating choices. Sure I can give up Diet Coke for 21 days. I can probably give up chocolate for 21 days. It’s an easy, one-bite-at-a-time approach to Eating that Elephant – or facing any big goal. And the best part is:  It Works!

   I’ve now done this blogging thing for 21-days straight. And I’m pretty proud of myself for that accomplishment. I sat down and read through the past 21 blog posts this morning – and I like seeing that I am 21-steps farther down the path of this 83-day Journey. I'm happy that I set a goal and accomplished it. And, to quote Kelly Olsen, “Nothing succeeds like success.” – so now I’m energized to keep going.

   

DAY 20 - THERE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN PRODUCE AT THE FARMER'S MARKET

There’s something magical about this time of year. Evenings start to cool off, leaves start to change, and the final fruits and vegetables are harvested. Since I didn’t plant a garden, I head down to the Provo Farmer’s Market almost every Saturday. Along with the freshest produce you can find (and most of it organic), there are fabulous artisans – and amazing food booths.

  Today I stopped at the Green Me truck – and I’m totally addicted to their Pear, which includes Almond Milk, Pear, Cinnamon, and Spinach. And, wishing for a vacation to France, I stopped to grab a Nutella Crepe with bananas and strawberries. Also there are fire-baked pizza, teriyaki chicken rice bowls, mini donuts, homemade tamales, yummilicious limeade, and new and different stuff every week -- at least until the last Saturday of October, when it ends for the season.

   I usually grab a variety of fruit and veggies – so much better, fresher, and tastier than the grocery store. And, of course, something for a delicious and different lunch.

   And most weeks I either go with someone, or run into someone I know. Down at Pioneer Park in Provo there’s a fun Splash Pad and great Jungle Gym (fenced=smart), a large covered pavilion, and a number of picnic tables under the trees. It’s a great place to socialize – or just spend a nice quiet afternoon.

   The puppies LOVE it when they get to go, so I said “GO!” and they both headed for the truck. Although neither is wild about the Tethered (2-in-1) Leash, if it means they get to go somewhere/anywhere then they deal with it. And dogs, especially little ones, are a magnet for kids. They get more lovin in an hour at the park than I can give them in a week – and they love every minute of it.

   And I love every minute of it too. Good food, fun atmosphere, running into friends. It’s the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

DAY 19 - MUCH MORE VISITING THAN TEACHING

Mormons have a few “rituals” frequently observed, and among them: Visiting Teaching – which is basically just a few women getting together to go visit a few other women (and leave them with a “message”) once each month. Although it can happen any time during the month, it’s usually the last few days, because Mormons procrastinate just like the rest of the world.

   We go Visiting Teaching in pairs – and I have a wonderful new partner: Stephanie Barlow. Stephanie just graduated from high school this year, so this is all new to her – but she’s a trooper about it. Stephanie is a beautiful blonde young women, quite into fashion – and with a passion and love for music and singing. And she has a few Special Needs – along with the other PHYSICAL challenges she’s faced her whole life, she has also recently started going blind.

Stephanie Barlow

   Stephanie doesn’t let little things like blindness stand in her way. She is FIERCELY independent, and proudly walks alone where she can – and if she does need a bit of assistance, it’s always the minimal amount possible. And she’s willing to try new things and loves to be social and be involved. And I love her positive outlook and passion for life.

   Today we visited Michelle Corbin. Michelle designed the Joyfully Read program, and helped Stephanie with reading for years. And Michelle is one of the sweetest women you will ever meet. She gently brings Stephanie into the conversations, and asks questions to get Stephanie to open up and share her new schooling experiences with us. As I watched Michelle gently touch Stephanie’s shoulder with each question, and genuinely laugh as she shared – I watched a woman who is not only an expert teacher, but teaches with great love.

   The other woman we visit is Sondra Hudgens. Sondra is a hoot! She always has hysterical stories from just the regular goings-on of family life. Sondra is Stephanie’s piano teacher, and is astoundingly patient and loving with her. Sondra is probably the most easy-going person I know. Even when dealing with extremely difficult circumstances (and sometimes people), Sondra finds a reason to shrug her shoulders and laugh it off. She is definitely someone that understands that sometimes “Life is what Life is” – so why try to fight it. She is a roll-with-the-punches kindof gal, and that is certainly something that I am trying to learn from her example.

   It’s a great experience to have the opportunity every month to get to know these fabulous women better. OK, I have to admit that I’m a bit weak on the “message” part – so basically we just show up and visit for a while. There’s a deep philosophical lesson published somewhere that I’m supposed to print off and take with me – but most days I’m lucky if I remember to wear shoes, so I just run with it. And so far, no one seems to mind.

Marie Baird (and me) -- she's been my
Visiting Teacher for years

   And not only do I get to BE a Visiting Teacher, I get to have them too. Also rather non-tradtional, Marie Baird and Deb Fox took me to the Farmer’s Market for a morning a few weeks ago. We ate yummy food, shared fabulous conversation, and had a wonderful time. (Oh, and there wasn’t any formal message there either, which was just perfect!)

   But apparently there are some women who have “issues” with various aspects of Visiting Teaching. Either they: don’t like their partner; don’t like who they visit; don’t like who visits them; don’t like it when there IS a message; don’t like when there isn’t. Whatever! One of the great lessons that I have learned in life is the importance of having women to share with and learn from.

   Over the years I’ve had some great Visiting Teachers, and had the opportunity to visit some amazing women. And there is one lesson in particular I learned when I was 18:

   I had just moved away to college, and the next day my mom fell and broke both arms. BOTH! At age 68 she wasn’t up to much, so I immediately moved back home to help my parents out. Dad had fallen a few days earlier and messed up his shoulder – so between the two of them, they really needed the help. Because the term had started, I stayed in school fulltime and commuted – plus I had a parttime job.

   I took care of the house, meal prep, cleaning, laundry – everything! Mom couldn’t even brush her own teeth. She just sat there all day watching TV, because it was all the strength she could muster to even push a button on the remote control.

   A neighbor came over to see what the Visiting Teachers could do to help, and my mom declined. (Although I was downstairs, I could hear the whole conversation.) Mom actually said, “Oh, we’re fine. Gena has it all under control.” WHAT?!?!?  I had nothing under control! I was carrying 15 credits at school, commuting an hour each way every day, working 20+ hours, and trying to take care of both injured parents. It was crazy, and I felt wayyyy over my head.

   And, Karen Larkin, this dear sweet neighbor, turned to my mom and said something close to: “Lela, you always volunteer when someone needs a meal or some help. And you know how great it is to be of service. How can any of us ever have the blessing of giving service if no one is willing to accept it? You have the opportunity now to give these other women a chance to be of service.”

   Not only did Mom relent and allow a few meals to be brought over, but both Mom and I learned a valuable lesson about giving and receiving service from other women.

Kaye Nelson, me, Callie McKay
Because VT doesn't have to be boring!

   Because women need to have women in their lives. But in our unsocial-Social-Media-based society, we lose that so much today. I remember going to Quilting Bees with my mom when I was little – but things like that don’t happen anymore. And I think we lost something far more valuable than beautiful quilts in the process.

   So I’m grateful for Visiting Teaching – and especially these marvelous women that it has brought into my life. Because not only do women need women, but I need women – to counsel, learn, laugh, and cry with. And there has been much of that lately – and hopefully much more to come.

Visiting Teaching is a way to help us care for and about each other. It is a way for us to develop the characteristics of a follower of Jesus Christ. It is a way to make sure that no one in the Lord's kingdom is alone. -- Mary Ellen Smoot, RS General President 1997-2002

DAY 18 - CREATIVE MINDS ARE RARELY TIDY

Over the past few years, in Annual Performance Reviews, one item has come up over and over:  Desk is Clean and Tidy, Score 1 (out of 5). It’s always been my weakness – even as a kid. So, once a year, just before Performance Reviews, I would clean up my desk – at least a little bit.

My father, Dale Evans Roe, at work at
American Red Cross, Oakland, about 1972.

   And, it’s definitely an inherited trait. My dad’s desks – at both home and work – were always a mess. Mom was patient as his desk clutter slowly overtook half of the Kitchen Table too. I think it’s because Dad always had so many things going on, too many projects – and he wanted to keep an eye on them all. Yup, I definitely inherited that from him.

   I’m a “Collector” – not quite to the levels of Hoarding, but I do have a few weaknesses. In fact, I love to watch the Hoarding shows on Netflix – they always make me feel better about my housekeeping skills. I collect books and information, a bit to excess. Today when I counted, all 14 bookcases in my house were filled – and there were books that didn’t even fit onto the shelves. It was time to do something.

   So that was today’s task: Organize my Den. I sorted papers, shredded stacks of documents, organized office supplies, and cleared out the books that I decided I can live without. I filed old tax returns, divorce papers, annulment papers. I ran across the Wedding Cards from a few months ago, and tucked them away for a time when I’m not feeling quite so fragile. And as I added recent Journal entries to the shelf, I ran across cards and notes and letters to and from the men in my life – which will stay a part of my journal, because all of those things have made me who I am today. At the end of the day I had 2 big black bags of shredding, another big bag of trash, 4 boxes of books to sell, and a nice pile of extra office supplies to give away.

Dad's Antique Desk. A rare glimpse of the desktop.

   It’s nice to have a Clean Desk – at least for now. I don’t expect it to stay that way, because I have a few projects that I want to work on – and they require spreading out. Maybe a few too many projects, but they’re too intriguing to put off any longer.

   And as the piles creep back up, and book magically appear and overfill the shelves, and notebooks fill with thoughts and ideas – well, my desk will look my like my dad’s. And that’s OK, because it is Dad’s desk. I inherited a beautiful old antique desk that once belonged to my father, so it’s fitting if my desk habits look much like his as well. If I’m blessed to have any ideas similar to his, or a heart as big as his, or a writing talent as fabulous as his – I will count myself lucky. Dad was a creative soul that was rarely tidy, and I guess so am I.

You say I'm messy. I say my things are arranged in 
an abstract manner intentionally as part of 
my unquenchable thirst for creative expression.

DAY 17 - GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Every few months I get together with “The Girls” – friends from a previous workplace, Tahitian Noni. About half of us have moved on to other jobs, and the other half are still there. But it’s not about the workplace – that just happens to be what brought us together. Admittedly we used to spend about 40-hours each week together, and that created a bond between us – because over the years that we worked together, much more happened. Beyond just working together, we shared our lives with each other – and from that we fashioned threads that have weaved our lives together far beyond just being “former coworkers”, and even far more than just friends.

Back: Rithzane Nerelus, Kika VilaNova, Rhoda Debes,
Gena Roe. Front: Amelia George, Yvonne Gonzalez.

   If we were in Oakland, these dear ladies probably would be my “Homies”. If we were in biblical times, there would be a reference to Ruth. And in my life, these are my “Girls” – the always-there and always-on-my-side no-matter-what friends that are so much more than friends.

   When we get together, it’s a no-husbands (and usually no-kids) kind of evening – mostly because when we get “going” we just don’t want to be interrupted, and quite honestly no sane man would want to be there. And although we usually get together at a restaurant to Catch-Up, I usually feel bad for the waiter – because we are loud, hard to get an order from, and stay for a few hours to catch-up on everyone’s lives.

   Admittedly there is usually a bit of gossip – but it’s typically because we want to know “the rest of the story” – and in our group, usually someone can fill-in the blanks. But mostly it’s just to find out where other friends have ended up, because the more years that pass the farther spread-out we end up. When you have so many friends heading so many directions, it’s nice to pull together and remember the good times you shared.

Back: Gena Roe, Kika VilaNova, Mafile'o Latu Hafoka
Front: Yvonne Gonzalez, Amelia George, Zulay Improta

   I truly love these women. They are far more than former colleagues – they are a part of my heart. And women need women to connect with, to share with, and to learn from. These ladies were there for me as my marriage crumbled. They were there when I got back from the Emergency Room with my hand bandaged. They threw me a Bridal Shower a few months ago, and then another dinner shortly after I was single again. Because women support and care for each other – especially during times of trials.

   And that’s really what is best about Girls Night Out. It’s fun to Catch-Up. It’s fun to “dish” a little too. But it’s amazing to get together as a sweet reminder that we are there for each other, to love and support one another, and that there is always someone that will be there for you. Lately for me that has been a tremendous blessing. Even 1000-miles from home, dealing with all the heartbreak and pain in my life – I knew that I had an amazing support group, including these amazing women.

   We are a rather diverse group: there is a 40+ year range from youngest to oldest; we literally come from every corner of the world – including North, Central, and South America, Europe, Asia, etc.; and we range in height, size, hair, skin, and eye color. And none of that matters in the slightest. Because what’s truly important, what binds us together is something that you can’t see, something that you can’t list on paper. There is an Intangible that connects us – part of it is friendship, part of it is womanhood, and part of it is something divine.

Each of us has lived through 
some devastation, some loneliness, 
some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm. 
When we look at each other 

we must say, I understand. 
I understand how you feel 
because I have been there myself. 
We must support each other because 
each of us is more alike than we are unalike. 

– Maya Angelou

DAY 16 - LIFE IS BETTER WITH FRIENDS

There are a few things I have learned through life – and one of them is the incredible value of friendships. One of the greatest blessings in my life is the quantity of quality friends with whom I get to share my life. The past few days have been very friend-oriented, and have reminded me of this great gift of friendships.

   New Friends: With my work contract ending, I have been saying goodbye to new friends – a few that I know I will stay in contact with. As with most jobs, there are some people that you just work with – and then there are those coworkers that you really connect with. I am grateful to have made a few more of those friends this past year. One such coworker/friend was my Morning Wake-up Call at 6am for a few months (because he lives East Coast) – we clicked so well that he was referred to as my Work Husband. We worked well together, got an amazing amount of work done, and developed a lasting friendship. 

   Recent Friends: Today I went to lunch with a cherished friend, then spent most of the afternoon visiting with friends from my previous employer, Morinda/Tahitian Noni. In the year since I left Noni, a TON of changes have happened. But through it all, there are still wonderful and amazing friendships that I developed in the 8½ years working there. As I mentioned to one friend today:  Noni Friends are Forever Friends. And it’s true, so true.

   Old Friends: Tomorrow I have friends coming to stay-over for a convention in SLC. These are fabulous women that I haven’t worked with in more than a dozen years, but that doesn’t matter. We were so close that the years truly just disappear. They’re coming to a convention, but I’m guessing it will be more like a Slumber Party at my house the next few evenings.

   More than Friends: For this contract at work, I was fortunate to have a dear friend join the project in April – and a few months ago we got assigned together to develop Training Content for this project. For most of the past few months Ekitzel Wood has been my houseguest, coworker, employee – and mostly my friend. It has been great to have someone around, especially someone that I get along with so well, enjoy so much, and have so much respect for. Tonight is her last night here, before heading home to Minnesota – and I will miss her. But I also know that this time together has built an even stronger friendship, and we will always be friends.

   I could go on and on, because I have truly been blessed with amazing friends. And throughout the Journey of Life I have been granted the opportunity to have some truly wonderful people come along. And one lesson that I am finally learning is the importance of staying connected with these dear friends. Facebook has certainly made it easier, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the “Likes” and “Comments” – and the many Messages I receive. I’m not sure who the growing-number of people are that read my blog, but I’m grateful for the astounding love and support.

Notice the people who 

are happy for your happiness, 

and sad for your sadness. 

They're the ones who deserve 

a special place in your heart.

DAY 15 - ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END

It’s always hard when things have to change – but change is a necessary part of life. There has been a lot of change in my life recently – and apparently there is more on my horizon. For the past year I have had an amazing job, unlike anything I have ever worked on before – and I've been blessed to have some pretty amazing jobs in my life.

   Last October I got a job as a Contractor working on an amazing Customer Service Initiative at DirecTV. I was hired specifically for this project, so I knew that it would be coming to an end – originally intended for December. But, as contract work often does, my assignment transitioned – and when they found out my background they decided to have me focus on Content Development. And now all of the content is done, meaning that my part of the contract is over.

   I will miss it – the project, the people, and especially the paycheck – but that just means it's time for the next chapter of my career to begin. That was the plan all along, it’s just happening a little sooner than expected.

   So that's what today is: getting things prepared in order to begin that next part of my journey. Updating my resume, contacting some connections, getting things organized for another job hunt.

   And although this happened sooner than expected, I'm calm about it. I have no debt (except home mortgage), I have money in savings, and I have a great resume. And more than that – I have Peace. When I took this job I knew it would be a great opportunity and would be the stepping stone to the next level of my career, and I feel that even stronger now.

   So among the many things I am hoping to find along this 83-day Journey is also now a new job. I don’t know anyone that enjoys Job Hunting – but if at the end I have a new job that I love, then it is well worth the effort.

   Wish me luck. And -- the hunt begins.

The only way to do great work 

is to love what you do. 

Don't settle. 

If you haven't found it yet, 

keep looking. 

As with all matters of the heart, 

you'll know when you find it. 

-- Steve Jobs

DAY 13 - SATURDAY MORNING TREASURE HUNTERS

I’m sure I get it from my mom, this love of Yard Sales – she used to beg my dad to pull over EVERY time she saw one. And I’m not alone in this passion. I have DOZENS of friends that go to Garage Sales on a very regular basis – and a few of them that I run into frequently out-and-about at some random stranger’s house.

   When you think about it, Garage Sales are a bit odd.  First of all, the name is completely wrong: no one is selling their Garage, nor their Yard. Secondly, the whole premise: Let’s go to a Stranger’s house, dig through the stuff that even THEY don’t want anymore, and then let’s pay them even less than the bargain price they listed for these random items that they will likely just donate to charity in a few hours anyway. 

   Odd that is, unless you’re one of them: The Garage Sale Junkies. Then the whole viewpoint is different. Each Saturday morning is like an Expedition – you are on the hunt for buried treasure. Not sure what you are looking for, nor where you will find it – but you are certain that treasure is out there. Like an Explorer, you drive up and down the streets looking for “signs” (in this case typically neon pink or green) – and at the first sign of hope, you speed up to be the first to the site. Bursting from your vehicle (ideally an oversize SUV), you begin to dig . . . through boxes, piles, bags – searching, searching for “something”. Oh, and when you find a potential “something” – then that is when challenge begins. Because you don’t just want a treasure: you want a treasure at a bargain basement price. Haggling, definitely not my favorite thing – and definitely not a strength mine.

   Today I was on the Flipside – hosting the Estate Sale. Yes, it was truly an Estate Sale. No “Garage Sale” crap allowed. Nice furniture and belongings only. And despite the “8am to Noon – no early birds” specifically listed in the online ad – folks started showing up at 7:30am.

   Admittedly, hosting a Sale – garage, yard, or estate – is a LOT of work. There’s advertising, putting up signs, setting up tables, collecting all the items, pricing everything, etc. – 23 easy steps, according to WikiHow. So to keep each other motivated, a friend and I did this one together – mostly because we both need to eliminate some items from our life, but also because we knew we’d both procrastinate unless we held each other accountable. Not only is neither of us is looking for additional work in our lives, but it also means giving up a rare and highly-valued morning to sleep in.

   But there is a payoff. To begin with, Pay. Between the two of us we made over $800 – not bad for a 4-hour Saturday morning sacrifice. And beyond that, Freedom. There is a lightening, a freeing, that happens when you unburden yourself of “stuff” that no longer serves you. At the end of the day, the pile of empty boxes and bins is liberating. And knowing that these items are now finding value in the lives of others – including many friends that showed up today, is satisfying.

   Oh, yes, I will do it again – probably in a few weeks. I still have a rather large home containing far far too many things. But more than that – this freedom that I feel this evening is something I want more of. Letting go of a few things, makes it not only easier to let go of more – but is also very motivating. I want more of that freedom in my life.

   Just like this entire 83-day Journey: taking one step leads me to another, taking me farther and farther down the path. I’m just finding that it’s a different path than I had originally expected. And I’m OK with that, because this is MY path and MY journey – and I’m enjoying every step along the way. Especially since my knapsack is a bit lighter this evening.