DAY 68 - OFF THE CUFF

For my current job I was hired to rewrite and enhance some of their training materials. I specialize in Customer Service in Call Centers – so it’s been pretty easy and fun, so far. I’m either in an office all alone, or observing at the back of a classroom – very much a “fly on the wall”. When I arrived this morning however, I was immediately pulled into the Managers Office. “We have a problem: no one is available to teach this morning’s New Hires. Can you do it?”

   Now usually I have absolutely no problem stepping in and helping out with a problem. And getting up in front of a group and teaching is easy for me – and what I’ve done for over 20 years. BUT . . . I’ve been there for 2 days. I’ve never seen the material. And there is no Instructor Guide or even an outline to follow. So basically the request was to get up and teach them something I knew absolutely nothing about.

   Hmmmmm. Now I’m not usually one to back down from a challenge, but with only 15 minutes before the class was to start and no possible way to get the information that was supposed to be covered . . . well, I’m good – but I’m not THAT good.

   As my mind scrambled through the dozens and dozens of reasons why I couldn’t do it, the question “Can you do it?” morphed into “You need to do it.” Deep breath. It’s only 90-minutes, with now only 12-minutes to prepare. Keep breathing. “Sure, I’d be happy to.”

   Fortunately I’ve been at this Training Thing for a while now. I asked for a ream of paper, a box of pens, and the Nerf Basketball I had seen around. Grabbing my bottle of water and cellphone, I rushed down to the Training Room. As I turned on Pandora, the classroom started to fill – and 13 confused faces took their seats. They’d seen me the day before, in the back of the classroom, typing away on my laptop. I’d been introduced the previous day as a “Specialist here to do Content Development” – or in Peanuts language “Blah blah blah-blah blah-blah”.

   “Happy Friday!” as a boisterous greeting, passing around paper and pens, a spontaneous quiz, a paper-folding activity, having people stand and sit as names are called out – and the Nerf Ball flying overhead. Yup, I can teach for 90-minutes with no preparation time – and wrap it up with a summary that ties it all together neatly and makes it feel planned and rehearsed. WHEW!

   Because sometimes you just have to “wing it”. Sometimes in life you don’t have time to prepare – and you just have to go with what you know. And once in a while, when you get asked to step-up, saying “No” just isn’t an option. I just hope I can always get my hands on pens, a ream of paper, and a Nerf Ball.

DAY 19 - MUCH MORE VISITING THAN TEACHING

Mormons have a few “rituals” frequently observed, and among them: Visiting Teaching – which is basically just a few women getting together to go visit a few other women (and leave them with a “message”) once each month. Although it can happen any time during the month, it’s usually the last few days, because Mormons procrastinate just like the rest of the world.

   We go Visiting Teaching in pairs – and I have a wonderful new partner: Stephanie Barlow. Stephanie just graduated from high school this year, so this is all new to her – but she’s a trooper about it. Stephanie is a beautiful blonde young women, quite into fashion – and with a passion and love for music and singing. And she has a few Special Needs – along with the other PHYSICAL challenges she’s faced her whole life, she has also recently started going blind.

Stephanie Barlow

   Stephanie doesn’t let little things like blindness stand in her way. She is FIERCELY independent, and proudly walks alone where she can – and if she does need a bit of assistance, it’s always the minimal amount possible. And she’s willing to try new things and loves to be social and be involved. And I love her positive outlook and passion for life.

   Today we visited Michelle Corbin. Michelle designed the Joyfully Read program, and helped Stephanie with reading for years. And Michelle is one of the sweetest women you will ever meet. She gently brings Stephanie into the conversations, and asks questions to get Stephanie to open up and share her new schooling experiences with us. As I watched Michelle gently touch Stephanie’s shoulder with each question, and genuinely laugh as she shared – I watched a woman who is not only an expert teacher, but teaches with great love.

   The other woman we visit is Sondra Hudgens. Sondra is a hoot! She always has hysterical stories from just the regular goings-on of family life. Sondra is Stephanie’s piano teacher, and is astoundingly patient and loving with her. Sondra is probably the most easy-going person I know. Even when dealing with extremely difficult circumstances (and sometimes people), Sondra finds a reason to shrug her shoulders and laugh it off. She is definitely someone that understands that sometimes “Life is what Life is” – so why try to fight it. She is a roll-with-the-punches kindof gal, and that is certainly something that I am trying to learn from her example.

   It’s a great experience to have the opportunity every month to get to know these fabulous women better. OK, I have to admit that I’m a bit weak on the “message” part – so basically we just show up and visit for a while. There’s a deep philosophical lesson published somewhere that I’m supposed to print off and take with me – but most days I’m lucky if I remember to wear shoes, so I just run with it. And so far, no one seems to mind.

Marie Baird (and me) -- she's been my
Visiting Teacher for years

   And not only do I get to BE a Visiting Teacher, I get to have them too. Also rather non-tradtional, Marie Baird and Deb Fox took me to the Farmer’s Market for a morning a few weeks ago. We ate yummy food, shared fabulous conversation, and had a wonderful time. (Oh, and there wasn’t any formal message there either, which was just perfect!)

   But apparently there are some women who have “issues” with various aspects of Visiting Teaching. Either they: don’t like their partner; don’t like who they visit; don’t like who visits them; don’t like it when there IS a message; don’t like when there isn’t. Whatever! One of the great lessons that I have learned in life is the importance of having women to share with and learn from.

   Over the years I’ve had some great Visiting Teachers, and had the opportunity to visit some amazing women. And there is one lesson in particular I learned when I was 18:

   I had just moved away to college, and the next day my mom fell and broke both arms. BOTH! At age 68 she wasn’t up to much, so I immediately moved back home to help my parents out. Dad had fallen a few days earlier and messed up his shoulder – so between the two of them, they really needed the help. Because the term had started, I stayed in school fulltime and commuted – plus I had a parttime job.

   I took care of the house, meal prep, cleaning, laundry – everything! Mom couldn’t even brush her own teeth. She just sat there all day watching TV, because it was all the strength she could muster to even push a button on the remote control.

   A neighbor came over to see what the Visiting Teachers could do to help, and my mom declined. (Although I was downstairs, I could hear the whole conversation.) Mom actually said, “Oh, we’re fine. Gena has it all under control.” WHAT?!?!?  I had nothing under control! I was carrying 15 credits at school, commuting an hour each way every day, working 20+ hours, and trying to take care of both injured parents. It was crazy, and I felt wayyyy over my head.

   And, Karen Larkin, this dear sweet neighbor, turned to my mom and said something close to: “Lela, you always volunteer when someone needs a meal or some help. And you know how great it is to be of service. How can any of us ever have the blessing of giving service if no one is willing to accept it? You have the opportunity now to give these other women a chance to be of service.”

   Not only did Mom relent and allow a few meals to be brought over, but both Mom and I learned a valuable lesson about giving and receiving service from other women.

Kaye Nelson, me, Callie McKay
Because VT doesn't have to be boring!

   Because women need to have women in their lives. But in our unsocial-Social-Media-based society, we lose that so much today. I remember going to Quilting Bees with my mom when I was little – but things like that don’t happen anymore. And I think we lost something far more valuable than beautiful quilts in the process.

   So I’m grateful for Visiting Teaching – and especially these marvelous women that it has brought into my life. Because not only do women need women, but I need women – to counsel, learn, laugh, and cry with. And there has been much of that lately – and hopefully much more to come.

Visiting Teaching is a way to help us care for and about each other. It is a way for us to develop the characteristics of a follower of Jesus Christ. It is a way to make sure that no one in the Lord's kingdom is alone. -- Mary Ellen Smoot, RS General President 1997-2002