Day 39 - I'M A MORMON -- MEET THE MORMONS

I’m a Mormon. And although I don’t try to hide it, I also don’t often bring it up outside of my personal circle of family and friends. And this “I’m a Mormon” campaign made me think about that.

   When I was a teenager growing up in Oakland, California, I was very vocal about my religion. Not in an overly-zealous kind of way, but if people had questions they knew I was Mormon and could ask me. For a while in high school there was a group of us that would get together for a “Bible Study” of sorts. A number of my friends were active in a variety of faiths, and we would get together before school and discuss the Bible and our sometimes-varying views. It was all very open and accepting, and it was great to not only share my beliefs but to also learn more about the beliefs of others.

   Then I moved to Utah. And everyone here is Mormon, or so it felt as a teenager in Bountiful, Utah. I literally didn’t know one single person in Bountiful that wasn’t Mormon. And at the opposite end of the spectrum, I got to know a number of General Authorities in the LDS Church – two of them the first week I lived in Utah, and more than a dozen within the next few years. I met them, got to know their families, visited in their homes – and it was great, but I certainly didn't need to share my beliefs with them. I wasn’t trying to hide being a Mormon, it’s just that when literally everyone else is Mormon and believes the same things that you believe – well, what’s the point?

   Then I started working. One of the earliest jobs I had was working for the Family History Department of the LDS Church – again, surrounded by Mormons. I loved the environment, the people, and everything about the job. We even started our workday every morning with Scripture Reading and an Opening Prayer. Not every department does that, but it was actually important to our job to be Spiritually In-Tune.

   But my next job was VERY different. I went to work at an interior design company working on the then-new Primary Children’s Hospital. It was a fabulous job, but it was an interesting and diverse group of people. My boss was LDS, a Returned Missionary, and Gay – not a common combination, especially in the 1980s. I was young, and he was authoritative and a bit confrontational – and it was awkward and uncomfortable.

   And that’s kindof been my pattern – I’ve either worked places that were predominantly Mormon (like Franklin Covey and Tahitian Noni), or quite the opposite (like Essante and InvesTools). And again at this last job with DirecTV, I had another boss who was Mormon and Gay – and somehow she was the “Resident Mormon”. When we’d all get together, with a team that lives across the country and comes from every walk of life – if the subject of religion came up, she would share the Mormon Viewpoint. Now, admittedly she was usually pretty on-point doctrinally – but she is not actively attending church, and is very vocally Gay and in a Committed Relationship.

   To me, being Mormon is more than just knowledge about what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches and preaches. It’s about how you choose to live. And although I was born and raised in the Mormon Church, I haven’t always been an active participant.

   Not long after I got married, my new husband got into a fight with our new bishop – and refused to attend church anymore. I tried to continue attending, but after only a few weeks he began to resent that I was attending church instead of spending all of Sunday with him. I can still remember standing in our Living Room and having to make a decision: I could continue to attend church every week, but my then 3-month marriage would continue to face the growing strain his resentment was creating; OR, I could focus on my marriage and my husband, and give him time to get over his hard feelings – because the church would always be there when he was ready. So I chose my marriage – and ended up being Inactive for the next decade. Oh, we’d go to family things like baptisms, blessings, etc. – but when it was just the two of us, we never went to church.

   Then 6 years ago, when we moved to Provo I made one rule: I am going to attend church, and you are not allowed to say anything negative about it. I really didn’t care if he went, but I had missed everything about it – and I wanted to have Church back in my life. Standing up for myself and my beliefs was one of the best things I've ever done for myself -- and it literally got me back on the right path and changed the course of my life in so many beautiful ways.

   I’m a Mormon because I want to be a Mormon. I grew up in a very Mormon home, and I genuinely loved everything about it. And I spent a chunk of my adult-life without it – and I know that I’m happier now that I am back to attending every week and being actively engaged and participating. And I like the Mormon-y things that aren’t part of Sunday worship too – like personal prayer and scripture reading and trying to live a Christ-like life. Being Mormon is actually more about what happens behind closed doors at home and within my own heart than it is about any of the Sunday services or other meetings.

   Tonight I went to the very first showing of a new movie:  Meet the Mormons. It was great! But I do think a better title might be:  "Meet Some Exceptional People (BTW – they're Mormon)". Because the thing that really stood out to me is that these are Ordinary People striving to live Extraordinary Lives. And really, isn’t that what we all want?

   Meet the Mormons is a full-length documentary, showing in movie theaters – in select locations. If you want to know what Mormons are really about, stop in to see it. Just go to Fandango.com, type in “Meet the Mormons”, and it will list the times and places.

   There’s a great theme song for the movie by David Archuleta called “Glorious” – and you can get a free download of it here (thru Facebook) or see the YouTube video here. Because, as the song says – It’s Glorious! 

   So, yes, I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. And I love it.

DAY 35 - GENERAL CONFERENCE PROTESTORS

There are a few things that I truly enjoy about living in Utah: the variety of seasons throughout the year, the beauty of the fall colors, the pleasant nature of people in general, and being able to attend General Conference. Yesterday morning I drove up to SLC and spent the day on Temple Square and at the Conference Center.

   It was a beautiful day, with blue skies, gentle breezes, and happy and friendly people filling the streets of Downtown Salt Lake. I took my laptop along, did a little scripture reading, a bit of journaling, and a short nap on the lawn near the Tabernacle. Lots of families with young kids running around, hordes of teenagers traveling en masse, and older couples walking along hand-in-hand – everyone just enjoying a beautiful day.

   General Conference is always uplifting and cup-filling. Words of hope and affirmations, gently encouraging us all to be better people and live better lives. And I have been blessed in my life to know a few of these outstanding leaders, and they truly live the types of lives that they compel us all to live. And it really is simple: just do good things with good hearts every single day.

   Along with the spiritually buoying messages of conference is the simple comfort of being part of something of such positive influence in the world as the LDS Church. When you sit there in the Conference Center among 21,000 other Mormons, you realize just how big an organization the now 15 million member LDS Church has become.

   Regardless of your religious affiliations or opinions, organized religion has a dynamic power around the globe. No one can discount the power for good that Mother Theresa had – not only because of her good-natured heart, but because of the strength of organized religion that she was able to rally.

   Which is why I don’t understand the zealots that stand on the street outside of General Conference bellowing their dissent. Did Mormons show up outside of his peaceful religious gathering and shout unkind words about his beliefs? I find it offensive that people would intrude on an event that brings me such peace and happiness. It baffles me that people can be so offensive, and claim their acts in the name of God. That is not the God I know – the God I know is a God of love, who welcomes all and allows us each to honor Him in our own loving ways.

   Quite honestly, I think that some of them show up to protest – just to protest. From their rants it's obvious that they haven't done their homework and they know nothing about the Mormon Religion. These radicals have the gall to tell me that I'm not Christian and I don't believe in the Holy Bible and other such nonsense. Really? Because I AM Christian, I DO believe in the Holy Bible, and I am a Mormon. If you're going to stand on the street corner and raise a ruckus, at least get your facts straight.

   How grateful I am for the Spontaneous Choir that gathered, standing against the walls of Temple Square, and beautifully sang hymns in peaceful retort. These Mormons (mostly Young Adults) did not confront the zealots, did not respond with taunts about the beliefs of the protestors, did not try to Bible-Battle there on the sidewalk. They simply sang. They stood there with hymnals in hand and sang songs of praise to God. And singing hymns of love is the perfect response to the hatred being shouted.

   Now THAT is the type of protest I can get behind. Maybe next Conference I will grab a hymnal and stand on the street corner and sing hymns.

DAY 27 - WOMEN AND THE PRIESTHOOD -- or "Ladies, keep your pants on."

Tonight was the General Women’s Broadcast for the LDS Church – basically the “Kickoff Session” to the Semi-Annual General Conference that happens next weekend.

   The past few years there has been an organization of Mormon Women that have been trying to pressure the leadership of the Mormon Church into making a change that would allow Mormon Women to hold the Priesthood. Their demonstrations have included: trying to “break” into the Priesthood session, the highly publicized “Wear Pants to Church Day”, and this year (next weekend) they are organizing to break into Priesthood sessions again – but this time into the Local Sessions instead of the big one in Salt Lake City.

   Really???  These women just don’t get it. First, as a Mormon Woman, I can hold the Priesthood any time I want to – and snuggling in front of a movie on a Friday evening, I typically do.  OK, all joking aside – do you see Mormon Men trying to break into the Women’s Session?  No, not one. Why? For the same reason I don’t attend Gambler’s Anonymous Meetings or attend Physics Symposiums at the UofU – because they aren’t relevant to me. Tonight was targeted specifically to a female audience, and the speakers were mostly women. Women talking to women about women. Hmmmmm, I sense a theme here. 

   So what’s the big deal about attending the Priesthood Session???  NOTHING! There’s nothing secret that happens there – heck, it’s even televised, posted on YouTube, and broadcast regularly on KBYU. And they’ve published the talks in a magazine for decades (and make them all available online within days). And men go to the Priesthood Session with men – especially fathers and sons. There’s fabulous tradition of generations of men attending together, often including ice cream together afterward. It’s men talking to men about men. That’s all.

   Honestly, I don’t want to hold the Priesthood. It’s not that I’m some passive woman that believes that women should come second place or be subservient – HECK NO! I am a strong-willed and independent woman, and I do believe in equity between the genders. But this whole “equality” view is wrong. Men and Women will never be equal – we’re just built differently, inside and out – and that’s a good thing. We balance each other out, and it’s about the give-and-take, the yin-and-yang, the partnership and working together. Equitable, but never equal.

   And my personal philosophy is that men get the Priesthood as a Consolation Prize. Admittedly, this isn’t Church Doctrine – but think about it. Women are given the greatest, most God-like gift in this life: the Gift of Creation. OK, admittedly men play a small part in that – but women are granted the amazing opportunity of feeling life create within them. And there is nothing that a man can experience in this life that even comes close. And that’s why, in my opinion, men are given the Priesthood. Where women have the opportunity to feel the Godly Act of Creation within their wombs, men are given the opportunity to Act in God’s Name. And God knew that by dividing the responsibilities, that men and women would have to work together – and that really is one of the great joys of this life.

   Besides, women in general tend to be more nurturing and service-oriented than men anyway – and working within the Priesthood compels men to nurturing and service-oriented acts. Because acts of service come more spontaneously to women, men have an organization that encourages them to do what comes to women naturally.

   So this weekend I was happy to go to the General Women’s Broadcast with the women in my family – and we had a great time, dinner and all. And next weekend I will NOT be trying to break-in to the Priesthood Session – because not only do I not agree with those women, but that I understand that I already have a higher place in God’s plan: As a Woman.

   Again, not doctrine – but my personal philosophy. So, no, I didn’t participate in Wear Pants to Church Day – but if there’s ever a Wear Pajamas to Church Day, then give me a call.

Priesthood is the means whereby 

the Lord acts through men to save souls. 

-- Elder David A. Bednar

DAY 19 - MUCH MORE VISITING THAN TEACHING

Mormons have a few “rituals” frequently observed, and among them: Visiting Teaching – which is basically just a few women getting together to go visit a few other women (and leave them with a “message”) once each month. Although it can happen any time during the month, it’s usually the last few days, because Mormons procrastinate just like the rest of the world.

   We go Visiting Teaching in pairs – and I have a wonderful new partner: Stephanie Barlow. Stephanie just graduated from high school this year, so this is all new to her – but she’s a trooper about it. Stephanie is a beautiful blonde young women, quite into fashion – and with a passion and love for music and singing. And she has a few Special Needs – along with the other PHYSICAL challenges she’s faced her whole life, she has also recently started going blind.

Stephanie Barlow

   Stephanie doesn’t let little things like blindness stand in her way. She is FIERCELY independent, and proudly walks alone where she can – and if she does need a bit of assistance, it’s always the minimal amount possible. And she’s willing to try new things and loves to be social and be involved. And I love her positive outlook and passion for life.

   Today we visited Michelle Corbin. Michelle designed the Joyfully Read program, and helped Stephanie with reading for years. And Michelle is one of the sweetest women you will ever meet. She gently brings Stephanie into the conversations, and asks questions to get Stephanie to open up and share her new schooling experiences with us. As I watched Michelle gently touch Stephanie’s shoulder with each question, and genuinely laugh as she shared – I watched a woman who is not only an expert teacher, but teaches with great love.

   The other woman we visit is Sondra Hudgens. Sondra is a hoot! She always has hysterical stories from just the regular goings-on of family life. Sondra is Stephanie’s piano teacher, and is astoundingly patient and loving with her. Sondra is probably the most easy-going person I know. Even when dealing with extremely difficult circumstances (and sometimes people), Sondra finds a reason to shrug her shoulders and laugh it off. She is definitely someone that understands that sometimes “Life is what Life is” – so why try to fight it. She is a roll-with-the-punches kindof gal, and that is certainly something that I am trying to learn from her example.

   It’s a great experience to have the opportunity every month to get to know these fabulous women better. OK, I have to admit that I’m a bit weak on the “message” part – so basically we just show up and visit for a while. There’s a deep philosophical lesson published somewhere that I’m supposed to print off and take with me – but most days I’m lucky if I remember to wear shoes, so I just run with it. And so far, no one seems to mind.

Marie Baird (and me) -- she's been my
Visiting Teacher for years

   And not only do I get to BE a Visiting Teacher, I get to have them too. Also rather non-tradtional, Marie Baird and Deb Fox took me to the Farmer’s Market for a morning a few weeks ago. We ate yummy food, shared fabulous conversation, and had a wonderful time. (Oh, and there wasn’t any formal message there either, which was just perfect!)

   But apparently there are some women who have “issues” with various aspects of Visiting Teaching. Either they: don’t like their partner; don’t like who they visit; don’t like who visits them; don’t like it when there IS a message; don’t like when there isn’t. Whatever! One of the great lessons that I have learned in life is the importance of having women to share with and learn from.

   Over the years I’ve had some great Visiting Teachers, and had the opportunity to visit some amazing women. And there is one lesson in particular I learned when I was 18:

   I had just moved away to college, and the next day my mom fell and broke both arms. BOTH! At age 68 she wasn’t up to much, so I immediately moved back home to help my parents out. Dad had fallen a few days earlier and messed up his shoulder – so between the two of them, they really needed the help. Because the term had started, I stayed in school fulltime and commuted – plus I had a parttime job.

   I took care of the house, meal prep, cleaning, laundry – everything! Mom couldn’t even brush her own teeth. She just sat there all day watching TV, because it was all the strength she could muster to even push a button on the remote control.

   A neighbor came over to see what the Visiting Teachers could do to help, and my mom declined. (Although I was downstairs, I could hear the whole conversation.) Mom actually said, “Oh, we’re fine. Gena has it all under control.” WHAT?!?!?  I had nothing under control! I was carrying 15 credits at school, commuting an hour each way every day, working 20+ hours, and trying to take care of both injured parents. It was crazy, and I felt wayyyy over my head.

   And, Karen Larkin, this dear sweet neighbor, turned to my mom and said something close to: “Lela, you always volunteer when someone needs a meal or some help. And you know how great it is to be of service. How can any of us ever have the blessing of giving service if no one is willing to accept it? You have the opportunity now to give these other women a chance to be of service.”

   Not only did Mom relent and allow a few meals to be brought over, but both Mom and I learned a valuable lesson about giving and receiving service from other women.

Kaye Nelson, me, Callie McKay
Because VT doesn't have to be boring!

   Because women need to have women in their lives. But in our unsocial-Social-Media-based society, we lose that so much today. I remember going to Quilting Bees with my mom when I was little – but things like that don’t happen anymore. And I think we lost something far more valuable than beautiful quilts in the process.

   So I’m grateful for Visiting Teaching – and especially these marvelous women that it has brought into my life. Because not only do women need women, but I need women – to counsel, learn, laugh, and cry with. And there has been much of that lately – and hopefully much more to come.

Visiting Teaching is a way to help us care for and about each other. It is a way for us to develop the characteristics of a follower of Jesus Christ. It is a way to make sure that no one in the Lord's kingdom is alone. -- Mary Ellen Smoot, RS General President 1997-2002

DAY 8 - CHURCH ISN'T JUST FOR SUNDAYS

I am a Mormon – born and raised. Some people think that Mormons going to church for 3-hours every Sunday is a bit excessive. But the truth is that it’s even more than that – some weeks a lot more.

   Saturday night my ward did a Dutch Oven Dinner. About 250 people came and for a few hours we ate, visited, laughed -- and it was great. Sunday was 3-hours of church, more visiting, etc.

   Monday was Family Home Evening for the Empty-Nesters. This group is mostly retired and includes people from all walks of life – and is an educated, loving, feisty, kind-hearted group of seniors that I truly adore.

   Tuesday evening is a Relief Society Social. Although I’m sure there will be a message, and probably fabulous food, I’m guessing “social” will probably take most of the time. It’s THAT kind of a ward.

   Some of my friends might think that getting together for something “churchy” 4 days in a row is excessive. Some people don’t even go once a week. Some don’t go to church at all.

   But it’s not about being “churchy” – in fact, very little of it has anything really to do with “Pure Religion”. But it is about Christianity, because in its purest sense it really should be about Christ – and this is. Oh, not in some “sermon-y” way – but in that these lovely people truly do represent Christ. They genuinely care about each other, and they demonstrate love in the simplest and smallest of acts – done constantly, because that is truly their nature.

   Ward Family really is the best way to describe it, because these people are truly like family. They greet me with a hug, ask how I am doing because they genuinely care, and I know that I could turn to any of them for anything at any time.

   Four days in a row might be too much church-stuff for some, but I am glad that this church stuff happens on more than just Sunday – because I need Christlike people in my life far more than once a week.

The church is not a place where 
perfect people gather to say perfect things, 
or have perfect thoughts, or have perfect feelings. 
The church is a place where 
imperfect people gather to provide 
encouragement, support, and service 
to each other as we press on in our journey 
to return to our Heavenly Father.

 -- Joseph B. Wirthlin