DAY 46 - HALFWAY THERE

Well without even realizing it, I am halfway through this 83-day Journey. Late last night I sat down and read through all of my blogposts so far. And I have to admit – this hasn’t exactly gone the direction I had expected.  I really thought that I would write all about my heartache and all the brokenness I felt inside. But, although I have mentioned some of it, it hasn’t been the entire focus of every blogpost – and I’m glad for that. I am a happy person, and for the most part I have blogged about the happiness in my life.

   I will admit that there are some topics that have just been too painful to write. Things that are still too raw. Pain that still cuts too deep to yet face. And I really don’t think that I’m just avoiding it as much as giving myself permission to handle things when I’m ready to handle them. There will still be a few topics – maybe during this second-half of the 83-day Journey, some maybe even later – that I will tackle to be able to move beyond them. But I am also noticing that some things have dissipated with the simple passage of time – not that they didn’t hurt and don’t sometimes still cause twinges, but that through the way I choose to live my life I have met people and gained strengths by which I can handle them better.

   But it is also true that some of the pain and hurtfulness are still too overwhelming to face. So I keep them carefully tucked away in a corner until I can better deal with them. It is sadly true that those we love the most also have the ability to hurt us the deepest. And although I thought that divorce was excruciating, I have learned that the betrayal of an affair is even worse.

   So I will continue to move forward with this Journey. I will try each day to do something that moves my life forward in a meaningful way. And I will review at the end of each day to learn the lessons that I need to learn – and to share them with you.

   Thanks for coming along with me on this Journey. It’s a different road than I expected, and I’m still not sure where (or even if) it will end – but as the saying goes:  It’s all about the Journey.