DAY 68 - OFF THE CUFF

For my current job I was hired to rewrite and enhance some of their training materials. I specialize in Customer Service in Call Centers – so it’s been pretty easy and fun, so far. I’m either in an office all alone, or observing at the back of a classroom – very much a “fly on the wall”. When I arrived this morning however, I was immediately pulled into the Managers Office. “We have a problem: no one is available to teach this morning’s New Hires. Can you do it?”

   Now usually I have absolutely no problem stepping in and helping out with a problem. And getting up in front of a group and teaching is easy for me – and what I’ve done for over 20 years. BUT . . . I’ve been there for 2 days. I’ve never seen the material. And there is no Instructor Guide or even an outline to follow. So basically the request was to get up and teach them something I knew absolutely nothing about.

   Hmmmmm. Now I’m not usually one to back down from a challenge, but with only 15 minutes before the class was to start and no possible way to get the information that was supposed to be covered . . . well, I’m good – but I’m not THAT good.

   As my mind scrambled through the dozens and dozens of reasons why I couldn’t do it, the question “Can you do it?” morphed into “You need to do it.” Deep breath. It’s only 90-minutes, with now only 12-minutes to prepare. Keep breathing. “Sure, I’d be happy to.”

   Fortunately I’ve been at this Training Thing for a while now. I asked for a ream of paper, a box of pens, and the Nerf Basketball I had seen around. Grabbing my bottle of water and cellphone, I rushed down to the Training Room. As I turned on Pandora, the classroom started to fill – and 13 confused faces took their seats. They’d seen me the day before, in the back of the classroom, typing away on my laptop. I’d been introduced the previous day as a “Specialist here to do Content Development” – or in Peanuts language “Blah blah blah-blah blah-blah”.

   “Happy Friday!” as a boisterous greeting, passing around paper and pens, a spontaneous quiz, a paper-folding activity, having people stand and sit as names are called out – and the Nerf Ball flying overhead. Yup, I can teach for 90-minutes with no preparation time – and wrap it up with a summary that ties it all together neatly and makes it feel planned and rehearsed. WHEW!

   Because sometimes you just have to “wing it”. Sometimes in life you don’t have time to prepare – and you just have to go with what you know. And once in a while, when you get asked to step-up, saying “No” just isn’t an option. I just hope I can always get my hands on pens, a ream of paper, and a Nerf Ball.

DAY 67 - WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT

Getting used to a new work environment is always interesting. Because there are so many areas at work that require “Clearance”, I tend to just stay in the Training Room and work. It’s nice and quiet, and I can just sit at the desk and get a bunch of work done. That is – until the lights go out.

   I’m all for saving the environment. I have all CFL lights throughout my house. I keep the thermostat a bit cool in the winter. I recycle. But if I get too focused on my work and don’t move enough, every 15-minutes or so the lights will shut down. Which at first freaked me out a bit – I mean, I’m in a building with Army guys running around and lots of security measures and then the lights go out. It clearly demonstrates just how sedentary my job is. So, every 15 minutes I have to get up and do a lap around the room – to wake up the lights.

   It’s also made me realize how many “automatic” things I’ve become accustomed to. Sometimes at home I’m surprised when the toilet doesn’t automatically flush. I typically shove my hands under faucets in public restrooms – and feel a little “put out” when I actually have to turn on the water. And when I have to pull on paper towels instead of them just being spontaneously thrust at me, I mean … really!

   How many of you remember actually having to get up and touch the television to change the channels? And are there still cars out there where you have to put a key in the lock to open the door? When was the last time you opened the Garage Door manually?

   Yes, I am old enough to remember TV Dinners in foil trays that had to bake in the oven – for over an hour. I have never actually kneaded bread and baked it in the oven (and rarely even use my breadmaker anymore). And using a washboard and doing laundry by hand – forgetaboutit!

   When I was a kid, I loved the cartoon The Jetsons. Wireless phones. Cars that fly. A Robot Maid. And I distinctly remember a quote by the dad, George Jetson:  “These 3-day workweeks are killing me!” Because, of course, with all the technological advances, we could get the same amount of work done faster – which means fewer work hours, right? What??? That didn’t happen for you either?  We got gypped!

   When I started working at age 16, I was the Office Manager for a Real Estate Company. Basically I sat around and typed up contracts on a typewriter all day long. We didn’t have computers back then, and they had to be TYPED up every single time – which took an hour or two, every single time. And sometimes they had to be retyped – which took just as long. Now you can just spend 2-minutes making a simple edit – and click Print. Hours and hours saved. So what happened to the 24-hour workweek I’ve been expecting?

   We keep creating short cuts to save us time – yet we all keep ending up with less and less time. For heaven’s sake, I don’t even have to flush my own toilet anymore – where did that extra 5-seconds go?

   We all have the same 86,400 seconds in every single day. When we become more efficient, we don’t “bank” that time – we just spend it on something else. For me, it is now spent doing laps around the Training Room every 15 minutes.

DAY 66 - GETTING PAID FOR WATCHING VIDEOS

Sometimes being a Contractor is a tough job. For the past year it required me to travel hundreds of thousands of miles and live out of a suitcase – sometimes not even making it home for the weekend. It’s usually high pressure. There are often crazy deadlines and very late nights.

   Today was not one of those days. I spent the entire day watching videos on YouTube. Stuff like Seinfeld and Dilbert. And, yes – it was all work related. I’ve been hired to “liven” up some of their Customer Service Trainings – and when I recommended a few video clips I got a great response from my client. Tomorrow will likely involve tennis balls, popsicle sticks, and bubbles (the kind you blow with little kids at the beach).

   Admittedly, my ideas are “out of the box” – sometimes wayyyyy outside that box – but that’s one of the reasons I love my job. I get to be creative. I get to play. I get to help other people get better at doing their jobs. And sometimes I get to watch cartoons and blow bubbles.

   I do consider myself very fortunate that I have had a career that I have truly enjoyed. And for the most part I have had jobs with companies that I truly believed in, doing jobs that usually didn’t feel so much like work. I worked for 4 years in the Family History Dept of the LDS Church and was the last step before names went to the temple.  I worked for the interior design company that did Primary Children’s Hospital when it was built.  I spent 7 years at Franklin Covey which really gave me a tremendous foundation for this career that I now have.

   And as I continue with my current Job Hunt, that is a priority for me – finding a job at a company that I love. It’s not always that easy, but I’ve known too many people that weren’t happy doing their jobs to want to be in that situation. My ex just looked at his jobs as a necessary evil – and never stayed at any of them very long. The one (out of the 10 while we were married) that he did like, he was with for almost 4 years. Most of the rest were maybe a year or two, tops.

   As a manager, there have been times that I told employees that they should start looking for something new. Not that I was kicking them out, but that I could tell that their heart wasn’t in it anymore. One in particular is still a really good friend – and is in a much better job, one that has turned into a great career for her.

   I may not always get to watch cartoons and blow bubbles, but when you love your job it doesn't matter so much quite what you are doing – because you are just enjoying the doing of it. 

DAY 65 - IT'S A MAN'S WORLD

So I started a Temporary Contract job today.  It’s writing trainings in customer service – so it’s right up my alley. And it’s nice to have a paycheck coming in again – even if only for a little while.

   Maybe it’s just this particular place, but the first dozen people I saw at the office today were all men – and 80% of the employees were men. I walked in the door with a few men, more men came in while I was checking in, and most of the desks I passed on the way to my office – men.

   Sure, part of it is because it’s a facility that does contract work with the U.S. Government and Army (and apparently there were some extra Army people there today). But it was so strongly a male environment that it really gave me pause.

   Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t have anything against men. I actually rather quite like men. But after having bounced around the country this past year, and being in work environments that were so diverse – both in gender and ethnicity – being back in an environment that was mostly white men was a huge change.

   Admittedly, part of it is likely due to the more technical nature of the job demands. And the U.S. Military is predominantly male. But, in general, Utah has a larger percentage of men that work than women. This isn’t just my opinion. According to the State of Utah, only 59% of married women work – and only 62% of all women in Utah work.

   Of course, that Utah women only make an average of $.69 for every dollar a man earns could contribute to those numbers. And that the national average is $.77 per dollar is appalling. Not only because that’s still ridiculously unfair, but that here in Utah we’re even lower than the pathetic national average.

   As a woman who has worked in Corporate America since she was age 16 – this is infuriating. Especially with my current Job Hunt, that I am valued “lower” financially than my male counterparts is simply Wrong. Despite my stellar resume and extensive experience, I do know of a number of instances where I have been discriminated against because of my gender. I have literally lost positions or been overlooked because a male co-worker “has a family to support”. And although I “sucked-it-up” at the time, the blatant discrimination was hurtful and unfair – not to mention illegal.

   I have supported myself (and my spouses) for nearly 30 years now. During my 17-year marriage, I was the primary breadwinner for 16 of those years. Although he usually worked, I carried the insurance and all the financing and home-purchasing was based on my salary alone. He just had a rather unstable work history (10 jobs in 17 years). Even during my brief 5-week marriage earlier this year, I was the sole earner – from before we were even married until the Annulment papers were signed. Which just shows that it’s not always the man that provides for the family – so why is it that men get the advantages?

   And I do think that it is more prevalent in Utah than most other locations. There is an assumption that “men provide for their families financially” and “women care for the children”. Neither has been true in my life – and I’ve been at this for 20 years.

   I do choose to have a career. Had I had the opportunity to have children, maybe things would be different – but that was never an option for me. And what was I supposed to do – sit home and eat Bon Bons waiting for the child that would never be? My fertility challenges will be left for another day – but I chose to have a career because I followed the only path in front of me. I don’t apologize for it. And I am offended that with all of the effort that I have put being a good employee and building a career, that I earn less than my male counterparts.

   It saddens me that even in the 21st Century that blatant discrimination still exists. Fifty years ago it was racially-based discrimination that was rampant – and (hopefully) no one would tolerate that today. Gratefully, I believe we are moving in the right direction with gender-based discrimination. Nearly 100-years-ago, when my grandmother was abandoned by her husband, she couldn’t even get a job – and she and her four young children had to move in with her parents. My mom went back to work when I was little, and barely made above minimum wage – but for those 15 years, at least she had a job she enjoyed. And I am blessed with a career that I love, and that even with the gender-wage-gap, a salary that pays rather well. I hope that the next generation sees continued improvement. And maybe by the generation after that they will see equal-pay-for-equal-work. And I hope I live to see that day.

DAY 64 - WRITERS ARE WEIRD

OK, now that I’m doing this Writing Challenge (NaNoWriMo) — I decided to reach out and connect with other writers. I went to a couple of events for Writers these past few days, and one of the things that is very apparent:  Writers are Weird.

   I guess that shouldn’t have really come as a surprise to me. My family is full of writers — and, yes, they are a bit “quirky”. They have unusual hobbies. They tend to have somewhat “tangent” ideas — and they are fiercely dedicated to their tangentness. But some of the writers I met these past few days are truly “weird”.

   One of the meetings was at The Chocolate — a yummilicious dessert store in Orem. First, kudos for location choice. And although a few of the people seemed fairly normal, there were a few that were… well, weird. One woman was particularly chatty — not that being social is a problem for me (since I’m rather social myself). But this woman could talk me under the table. And her chattiness was even more surprising because not only was she in charge, but all of us brought laptops and notebooks and wanted to write — something usually more easily accomplished in a more hushed, library-like atmosphere.

   The other meeting was at a place called Dragons Keep in Provo — apparently a Fantasy Gaming and Comic Book store. I’ve never set foot in this store before, and unless I find the need for 27-sided dice or really-expensive and scantily-clad Action Figures sometime in the future — well, I’m not likely to frequent it very often. There was a rather large turnout, pizza & pop, and LOTS of people who apparently do this NaNoWriMo thing every November. And an amazing number of these individuals write Science or Fantasy Fiction. There were a significant number of conversations about Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit — movies I haven’t even seen, which confession immediately put me well-outside of the Inner Circle in this group.

   Fortunately, I have a great friend that enjoys writing also — and we decided to just be our own little group. We like to hang out anyway. We both actually want to write, so a quiet place to do so is a priority. And we are both pretty normal women.

   Having a Writing Buddy is a great thing. Much like a Diet Buddy or an AA Sponsor, having someone that supports you and gives you encouragement is a great thing in life. It’s much of the reason we all get married. But sometimes you have a specific hobby that you need a buddy/mentor for — and that’s a great thing too. I have Buddies for different areas of my life because no one person likes all the same things that I do. And it’s nice to have different friends I can share different parts of my life with.

   So if you think I’m a bit weird, thank you. Maybe that means I will make a good writer someday.

DAY 63 - MICHAEL EVANS ROE

Last week while I was in Oakland, I took flowers to the Mountain View Cemetery where my brother Mike is buried. It’s a beautiful cemetery, nearly 250-acres of gorgeous rolling hillside, and over 150 years old – the oldest cemetery in Oakland.

   There’s a darling little flower shop on the road that leads to the cemetery, so I stopped. Every March they sell 4-leaf Clover plants, but didn’t have any this time of year, so I bought a pretty little bouquet and went to the cemetery. As I drove through the cemetery I noticed the headstones, new and old – the names, the dates, the tributes. Mike is buried under a tree, on the first row of the Infant Section – along with hundreds of other young children. These little child-size graves only 2-feet wide, and less than 4-feet long.

   Very few of these tiny graves are visited anymore. Most of these Young Ones died over 50 years ago. They never had any descendants, and by now very few of their parents are alive to visit them either.

Mike on one of Grandpa's Shetland Ponies

   I sat down on the grass, my legs tucked under me because the little rows are so close together. It’s been 10 years since I’ve been to Oakland, since I’ve been there – so I brushed the leaves away from the tiny headstone marking the tiny grave. I talked to him. At one point, when I was a teenager, I even wrote my Journal to him. I read the blogpost I wrote about him on his birthday to him. Tears streamed down my face for my brother – this brother I never knew. His life tragically cut too short.

   Today is 64-years since the day his life ended. Since the day a woman got behind the wheel of her car after having too much to drink. She sped through the neighborhood that day, and this little 4-year-old wearing a cowboy hat and shoes a little too big for him – well, I don’t even know if he saw it coming.

   Mom ran to the street. Neighbors gathered to help. One called for an ambulance. A couple of the men tried to administer First Aid. A few of the women held Mom back. Another drove Mom to the hospital as the ambulance drove away. Mike died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

From the Oakland Tribune, Nov 3, 1950
"A cowboy gun and a shoe lie in the curb
where they fell. Police Sgt. Don Heaton
holds the other things which marked
the last "round-up" for Michael Roe, age 4."

   And the Woman Driver – was never charged. It was 1950 – there were no breathalyzers, no blood alcohol tests. She was 51 years old when she killed my brother. There were no legal or financial consequences for her. Dad said she never even apologized – and I could tell from the way he said it that he thought that was the LEAST she should have done.

   But there are consequences in this life – and in the life to come. Decisions we make and lives we impact – we are accountable for our actions. Although this woman didn’t face any consequences in this life, I have no doubt that there are consequences for her on the other side. And she lived the rest of her life knowing that her actions had taken the life of a 4-year-old boy.

DAY 62 - NaNoWriMo – no, that’s not a misspelling

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. It happens every November, and the challenge is to write 50,000 words in the next 30-days. I decided to participate this year, and since today is November 1st – I am jumping in.

I’ve wanted to do this for the past few years, but there was always some excuse. I was too busy. It was too much to take on. Life just seemed too much “up in the air”. Not that my life is really any calmer this year than any other year, but that the challenge of “1667 words per day” doesn’t seem as daunting as it used to. Most of my blogposts are 500+ words (some even 800 words), and I’ve been able to handle that for the past 62 days.

And blogging for the past 62-days has really done a lot for me. It forces me to get out and do something every day that is Blogworthy – which is especially helpful on those days that I just want to pull the covers up over my head and make the world go away (and, yes, I still have more days like that than I should). Writing every day also makes me stick with it – I mean, once I got through the first 21-days, then the first 30-days… well, to write for all 83-days seems totally do-able. And it has helped me prove to myself that I can write – the quality of my writing is still to be determined, but as one who has always dreamed of being a writer, this blog at least has me writing. And with now over 12,000 hits on this blog so far (see 10,000 Hits), for the first time in my life I am finally brave enough to share what I’m writing – and, gratefully, getting wonderful and positive comments.

In my Den I have a 6-foot-long bookshelf, and one entire shelf contains all of my journals from throughout my life. I’ve been an avid journaler most of my life, and those Journals now not only fill an entire 6-foot expanse but they have started to overflow onto the shelf below also. I rarely leave the house without a Journal in my purse, or some form of pen and paper. [And I always keep pen and paper in my car.] Even sometimes just standing in a line at the bank or somewhere, I will use the email function on my phone to jot down mini-entries – sometimes not more than a simple note about somewhere or someone. But it’s better to have only a single paragraph on a topic than nothing at all.

My father always wanted to write the Great American Novel, and handed his novel off to me to complete. I have pages and pages of notes that he wrote, and— if I can decipher the hieroglyphics he called handwriting — someday I may work on it. Even a few of my cousins have written novels. Four-generations of my family has been into writing in some form or another. Roes are writers (and readers) – I guess it’s just in our blood.

So for the next month I will write an average of 1667 words each day – which will give me 50,000 words by the end of November. According to websites, that’s about 2-hours or so of writing each day. No editing. No proofreading. Just writing and writing and writing — and letting the ideas flow onto the page.

It may never become the Great American Novel, but for me that isn’t the point. I write because I love to write. I does something for me that I can’t get from anything else. It feeds a part of my soul.

And if, by chance, it does turn into the Great American Novel – I’m sure I’ll blog about that too.