Grab a Tissue -- and read THIS story with your family on Christmas Eve

Maybe I'm hypersensitive because my sister adopted 3 Russian Orphans, and they have shared their stories with me too. I remember their first Christmas and those eyes filled with wonder. This is definitely my favorite new Christmas story this year, and it's just too beautiful to not share.

In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Dept. of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on Biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments, and a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage. The two Americans related the following story in their own words:

It was nearing the holiday season in 1994 and was time for our orphans to hear, for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger.
   Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word. Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger.
   Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. (No colored paper was available in the city.) Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw.
   Small squares of flannel, cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia, were used for the baby’s blanket.
   A doll like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States.
   The orphans were busy assembling their mangers as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat—he looked to be about six years old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy’s manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger.
   Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of them and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately—until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger.
   Then Misha started to ad-lib. He made up his own ending to the story as he said, “And when Maria laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him I have no mama and I have no papa, so I don’t have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with him. But I told Him I couldn’t, because I didn’t have a gift to give him like everybody else did.
   “But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I kept him warm, that would be a good gift. So I asked Jesus, ‘If I keep you warm, will that be a good enough gift?’ And Jesus told me, ‘If you keep me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave me.’ So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and he told me I could stay with him for always.”
   As little Misha finished his story, he eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed.
   The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him FOR ALWAYS.
   -- (author unknown)

May The Best Man Win

I’m excited for the chance to get out and vote tomorrow. I’m grateful for the freedom that I have to choose the leader of the country that in which I am blessed to live.

   And I am grateful that I get to vote for a man of integrity. I trust him. I believe that he is doing his very best for this great country of ours. And I believe that when he speaks he is being completely honest with us.

   He is a good family man, with good morals. He has an amazing wife standing at his side, who not only loves him completely but has much to offer this country in her own right. And his children are proud of him, not only for his public persona but for being a good dad to them.

   It doesn’t matter whether I vote Republican or Democrat – this is true for either candidate. And more than any election that I can recall, despite the mudslinging ads, none of them have attacked either candidates’ integrity – because both are men have more integrity than we have seen in decades.

   I hope the best man wins. And I’m sure he will. And because our choice is between two good men, no matter which one wins – we all win.

A lot to be Grateful for

A few months ago, when my life started falling apart, I was having an especially rough evening. My ex-husband had just moved out and at the end of the day the big house seemed so much bigger and far, far too quiet – and it was all catching up to me. And I was feeling sorry for myself, justified maybe, but it started really getting me down. So instead of just seeing how my life was falling apart, I grabbed a notebook and turned to a blank page and decided that I would just write down 10 Things in my life that I was grateful for. When your life is spiraling out of control that can be a bigger challenge than you’d imagine.

It took a few minutes, but when I was done I felt better. I had been so focused on all of my problems that I had overlooked the really amazing blessings that I have in my life. For the next few nights, that same feeling of gloom caught up with me especially at bedtime, so each night I would grab that notebook and add “Just 10 More Things” to that list.

It became such a healthy way to end each day that night after night I continued to add “Just 10 More Things” to the list. Last night I wrote my #2000 in the notebook (Volume 2, because I filled Vol 1 in January). Today I took a few minutes and looked over the list. I have an awful lot of things for which to be grateful. And most of the things on the list are people, the amazing people in my life – the people who unknowingly stepped into my life as an answer to a prayer at just the right moment. And for that I am grateful.

The truth of it is that most of the answers to my prayers have been delivered by people. The friend that called and invited me to lunch, just when I was praying for someone to help me with a big decision. The neighbor that just happened to be outside right at the moment when I was praying for a chat. The ward member who spontaneously invited me to dinner when I was dreading having to go home to eat a TV dinner one more Sunday.

It may sound trite to say that you can be an instrument in God’s hands, but from my experience this is absolutely true. I am so grateful for the amazing people in my life who say or do just the right thing at just the right moment and turn things around for me. Sometimes, maybe even usually, it may seem like a small thing – but those small things sure felt HUGE at the time. And for that I am grateful.

QUOTE FOR TODAY: “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Change is Hard

This past week there was an addition to the family. Pippa, a 2-year-old Shih Tzu, has come to live with us. Sierra, my incredibly spoiled 5-year-old Shih Tzu, has been less than thrilled about this change.

Poor Pippa is very confused by the whole thing -- a new house, and she can't find her brother Rhino anywhere. And apparently Pippa is a stress-eater (like me) because she is downing 2 full bowls of dog food every day. Unfortunately these empty dog bowls are only compounding Sierra's stress.

Sierra hasn't ever really been around other dogs at all, so that one has "invaded" her house is terribly upsetting. And that Pippa ("The Intruder") has the nerve to want to PLAY with Sierra is only adding insult to injury.

Yesterday I took them both with me as I went running errands. Sierra always loves a ride in the truck, and Pippa was almost as excited -- at least at the beginning. When I got to the bank and left BOTH dogs in the car Sierra had quite the look of terror as I trapped her in the truck with "The Intruder." Although I was only gone a few minutes, the greeting I received upon my return was that of a year-long journey. Well, at least I felt loved and wanted.

Now that a few days of co-habitating has passed, I'm letting them both have free run of the house all day. Sequestering only happens when I'm afraid that Pippa is going to ralph up all that dog food on my bed. Puppy Puke is just not conducive with a good night's sleep.

With all of the changes in my life lately, I can understand how they feel. Circumstances beyond your control can turn your whole world upside down -- and you just have to figure out how to deal with the change. And just like I was so blessed to have amazing people around me to help me through, I am trying to be there and do special things for the puppies at their time of strife.

Change is hard -- for people and for dogs. But I know that I am stronger for the changes in my life, and I can only hope for the same for the dogs.

General Conference Poem

This past weekend was the Semi-Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love General Conference weekend, and in honor of it I jotted down the following poem:

Just twice each year the Prophet's voice
Guides us toward the better choice.

The MoTab sings, then a quiet pause
As we listen to these men of God.

Apostles stand and gently preach
The message from above to teach.

Packer didn’t have to stand
To share with us the Lord’s command.

Andersen spoke of Christianity
And gently asked, “What thinks Christ of me?”

Uchtdorf told us all to “Stop it!”
And no one is funny like the Prophet.

Hearts were opened. Lives were changed.
I feel ready to face the world again.

World Poetry Day

According to the United Nations, today is World Poetry Day. As a sometimes-poet, and a huge Poetry fan – I decided to jump on the bandwagon. I took a few minutes (probably should have taken longer) and wrote a poem for my employees. It really wasn’t very good, but it was funny – and I’m hoping “it’s the thought that counts” is how it was received. It was a clear demonstration of why I had better not give up my Day job!

Continuing in the Poetry-Day spirit, for my lunch I decided to take a few minutes to go for a walk outside and think on one of my favorite poems, “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost. I’ve had it memorized for years, so I just walked through the Gardens and enjoyed the beautiful Spring day, thought about this poem – and reflected on my life.

A few months ago, I came to my personal Fork in the Road. I was the traveler, standing at the fork and looking down each road as far as I could – and having to decide which road to take. And I am now quite a distance down that path. Certainly too far to turn around (which I don’t want to do anyway), but still wondering what is ahead of me on this road. Certainly there are grassy spots, and no doubt there will be fallen trees and other obstacles. But this is the Road that I have chosen, and I am happy to be moving forward along it.

And most of all, somewhere ages and ages hence, I will look back on this Road of Life and will be proud of this journey. It’s not always easy, but it is certainly always worth it.

[If you’d like to read Robert Frost: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-road-not-taken/]

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Last night I had a dream! That may not seem so phenomenal to most people, but dreams are incredibly rare for me.

For most of my adult life I have suffered from extreme insomnia. For the past few years I have been averaging about 4-4½ hours each night. I’d been to doctors, a Sleep Clinic, but nothing seemed to help.

Then last fall things digressed to where I was only getting 4-4½ hours 2 or 3 days a week, only 2-3 hours 2 or 3 days each week, and one night each week I didn’t get any sleep at all – and all of that only when taking Ambien CR and 9 mg Melatonin. So I decided to try more radical measures. I went to a hypnotherapist, a Naturopathic Nutritionist, and consulted with an ENT doctor. The doctor recommended surgery, so even I had some pretty intense sinus surgery in December.

A few weeks ago I had my first dream in years. It was very short, but in it I was with both of my parents (who have both passed away) – and I woke up with this wonderful feeling afterward. Not only had the surgery worked and I had finally been able to sleep deep enough to dream, but I had gotten to see my parents again.

Little by little over the past few weeks I have had a few more dreams. None of them very long, but each one always leaving me with a euphoric feeling. I hadn’t realized how much I had missed dreaming until I finally got it back. I may still only be getting 4-4½ hours each night, but at least I can now do that without any pills at all. And there is the hope that I may catch a glimpse of a dream – and that is absolutely a dream in and of itself.

Defend Yourself

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to BYU as my niece Defended her Thesis. As a Grad Student, she has spent the past 6 months focused on a Research Project and documenting the benefits of using a new technology to assess language acquisition. OK, it was really more interesting than I am making it sound.

While we were waiting for one of the professors to Skype in, we were all just chatting – and the topic turned to “Defending” the Thesis. It would seem that if the student has to “Defend” then the professors must be “Assaulting” or “Attacking” the students. But then, I doubt that BYU would be OK with professors “Assaulting Students” or “Attacking Students.”

For those of you that don’t know, “Defending Your Thesis” really is kindof defending your whole project. A panel of professors gets together and asks questions and pokes holes in your theory. I’m assuming that the purpose of this is to strengthen the work so that it holds up to scrutiny when published – but it really is a rather nerve-wracking process.

Why don’t they call it “Thesis Review” or “Thesis Support” or even “Thesis Help Panel”? Wouldn’t it be great if, after the months you spend working on it, it ended with a “Thesis Hug”? OK, so maybe we don’t want professors going around hugging students, but it would sure feel less threatening than having to “Defend Your Thesis.”

After thinking about it, I guess it really is part of preparing students for real life. Over the years in my career I have had to “Defend” an idea, project, job position. I have had to clearly state perfectly plausible reasoning behind my philosophy and “Sell” it to a boss. I have had to “Fight” to have a new position created. And I have even had to “Attack” problems on many occasions.

And lately I feel like I have had to “Defend Myself” – or maybe, better said, “Stand Up for Myself.” In relationships it is just as important, maybe even more so. Keeping balance in a relationship is a delicate thing, and when things get too out of balance the whole relationship suffers – sometime irreparably.

So, be prepared to “Defend Yourself” – whether at the end of your Master’s Program, taking a fencing class, or just heading out into the real world. Know what you really want and believe, and always be prepared to “Defend Yourself” against anything and anyone that “Attacks” it. Today’s Quote: “Where there is no struggle there is no strength.” And it’s really true. My niece has a better Thesis for having “Defended” it, and I am stronger for having “Defended Myself” too.

One Day at a Time

I’ve had so much going on in my life the past few months that I feel like I’ve been running a marathon. Fortunately things have started settling down considerably, and I feel like I’m getting my feet back under me.

The other day I ran into a friend and we were talking about our hectic lives, and saying how nice a little Boredom would be. Then last night I actually got a little time to just enjoy Boredom. No meetings, no deadlines, nothing but an unimpeded evening. I grabbed the leash and Puppy and I headed out the door at sunset. An hour later we had walked a few miles, and I had listened to some of my favorite music on my iPod. When I got home I had another hour to read a book – yes, a REAL book!

Sure, I still have things creeping in on me from my past, and admittedly I have quite a few things ahead of me that I still need to work on. But I just decided to give myself the quietude of the moment to just enjoy. I’ve been so frustrated with the past and so worried about the future that I forgot all about Today. So today I took time for today – and it was wonderful!

“One day at a time is enough. Don’t look back and grieve the past, it’s gone. Don’t be troubled about the future, it has not come yet. Live in the present and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

Forgive One Person

At the beginning of the year Oprah.com published a list of Weekly Resolutions for 2012: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Weekly-Resolutions-for-2012 The goal for this past week was “Forgive one person.” WOW – the universe knows where you are at and what you need to do, doesn’t it?!?!? So, I decided to pick my ex-husband to forgive.

That’s tougher than it sounds, because the divorce is only a few weeks old, and – well, the last time I saw him was in Court last week for a Protective Order, so it obviously didn’t end well. There were a lot of hurt feelings, and I have some pretty good reasons that justify my actions. After 17 years together, there were lots of great times – but there were some pretty crappy things along the way too.

But none of that matters. The hurt and anger is only hurting me. After reading The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball, I understand why it talks about making a “clean-cut break” – because that’s the only way to leave the pain behind too. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person, it’s something you do for yourself – to heal.

Last week a friend shared a story with me about a man she knows whose wife cheated, and he forgave her – and about how hard that has been for everyone around them to understand. I think it was great of him to forgive her and stay together for their kids. But as I’ve thought about it, I’ve realized that forgiving her isn’t something he did for her – it’s something he did for himself. To not forgive is to choose to live in anger and pain, but to forgive is to let go of the anger and pain and allow love back into your heart. Oh, sure – it’s certainly harder than it sounds, but I do believe that having faith that you will heal and having hope for a brighter future makes it worth it all.

On my Kitchen wall I have this quote: “Forgive what has hurt you in the past, but don’t forget what it taught you.”

So I choose to forgive him, remember the good times that we shared, and look forward with a pocketful of valuable lessons that will help me in my future.

Brings a Lump to my Throat

This past week was another wonderful opportunity at a Swearing-In Ceremony for new U.S. Citizens here in Utah. One of my friends was there for her mother, and shared this video of Alex Boye singing the National Anthem. Alex Boye is a marvelous singer, not only a soloist in his own right, but also a member of and soloist for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

The whole thing was videotaped and posted to YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsPKM9ixW_w

At the beginning of this clip, he says that he has sung the National Anthem over 100 times. And then he chokes up as he says that the next time he sings it he will be an American U.S. Citizen – so the judge invites him to the front to sing it for the whole group.

How grateful I am for being a U.S. Citizen. How grateful I am for being born here, and for the tremendous freedoms that being American affords. How grateful I am for the brave men and women who defend this country and my freedoms every day. Unfortunately, I have had to use our legal system and law enforcement recently – but how grateful I am to have had those protections.

In 1916 my grandmother was abandoned by her husband. At the time women didn’t even have the right to vote (Women got the vote in 1920). She couldn’t find a job, so she had to take her 4 young children and move back in with her parents. Eventually her parents made her marry her brother-in-law who had been recently widowed. She had no rights, no education, no work experience – she was dependent upon others to care for her and her children.

How amazingly grateful I am that I have rights. How grateful I am for an awesome job and great bosses. How blessed I am that I can stay in my home, and have the support of wonderful neighbors. How much I cherish my religious freedoms.

I’m certain that the National Anthem will never be the same for Alex Boye. And I hope that it will always bring a lump to my throat as it did today.