Forgive One Person

At the beginning of the year Oprah.com published a list of Weekly Resolutions for 2012: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Weekly-Resolutions-for-2012 The goal for this past week was “Forgive one person.” WOW – the universe knows where you are at and what you need to do, doesn’t it?!?!? So, I decided to pick my ex-husband to forgive.

That’s tougher than it sounds, because the divorce is only a few weeks old, and – well, the last time I saw him was in Court last week for a Protective Order, so it obviously didn’t end well. There were a lot of hurt feelings, and I have some pretty good reasons that justify my actions. After 17 years together, there were lots of great times – but there were some pretty crappy things along the way too.

But none of that matters. The hurt and anger is only hurting me. After reading The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball, I understand why it talks about making a “clean-cut break” – because that’s the only way to leave the pain behind too. Forgiveness isn’t something you do for the other person, it’s something you do for yourself – to heal.

Last week a friend shared a story with me about a man she knows whose wife cheated, and he forgave her – and about how hard that has been for everyone around them to understand. I think it was great of him to forgive her and stay together for their kids. But as I’ve thought about it, I’ve realized that forgiving her isn’t something he did for her – it’s something he did for himself. To not forgive is to choose to live in anger and pain, but to forgive is to let go of the anger and pain and allow love back into your heart. Oh, sure – it’s certainly harder than it sounds, but I do believe that having faith that you will heal and having hope for a brighter future makes it worth it all.

On my Kitchen wall I have this quote: “Forgive what has hurt you in the past, but don’t forget what it taught you.”

So I choose to forgive him, remember the good times that we shared, and look forward with a pocketful of valuable lessons that will help me in my future.