LIFE CAN MAKE US BETTER OR BITTER

This morning started with me waking up at 3:30am, after only 2½-hours of sleep. So I decided to get up to start my day. A quick shower, checking that my luggage had everything, a quick minute with the puppies, and out the door to the airport at 5am. Only 10-minutes from home I get a text – and since few of my friends are functional at that ridiculous hour, I glanced down to see who it was from. Uh oh – a text from United Airlines. Pulling over I read that my flight is delayed 2 hours, meaning I will miss my connecting in Denver. CRAP!

   Not sure what to do, I get back on the road to the airport.

I bought my ticket through Priceline (since going to the Nauvoo Pageant is just a fun personal trip), but I ask "Siri" to call United – and few minrtutes later I am talking to Agent Tom and explaining my situation. He can get me to Kansas City by 7pm – but I would miss the Pageant tonight, so I ask what other options he can find. (Being uber nice always helps!) After a few minutes of research, he sees that he can get me on a direct Delta flight – and I arrive only 10 minutes later than planned. WHEW! (Besides, I usually fly Delta and prefer it.)

  Well, I’m now at the airport 3 hours early, so I slow down and enjoy the morning. As I park, the sun is coming up over the mountains to the east – so I sit in my car and enjoy the sunrise. I walk to the Delta counter to check-in because there’s something wrong with my iPhone App – and they put me on the Upgrade List for an aisle seat. Oh, and they check my bag for free (so why not, and not have to drag it through the airport). And I see a Noni Friend checking in as I walk to Security – then at Security I run into 4 other Noni Friends. Ironically, we are all flying out of the same gate – they’re just an hour ahead of me. So we have an hour to grab breakfast together and sit and visit. FUN!

   Then as I get up to buy Bottled Water I notice that my name says UP on the screen, so I talk to the Gate Agent to see if I got the requested Aisle – and she said that I’d been upgraded to First Class.  SCORE!

   So, my morning that started crappy with no sleep and a flight delay turned into: a sunrise, breakfast with friends, a better flight, and first class. (Plus later that afternoon I dodge another speeding ticket!)

   Traveling so frequently I get to see all sorts of people. And I can always tell the families on their way to Disneyland. Then there area those grumpy people who cut you off in line or complain loudly and angrily to some poor employee about some minor inconvenience.

   Yes, there are all sorts of people, with all sorts of Attitudes – and Attitude is the difference. We all have challenges in our lives, and how we decide face them is a choice. When life happens TO us, as it sometimes does, we can choose to let it make us better or make us bitter.

   I could curl up in bed, pull the covers over my head, say “Poor Me” – and no one would blame me one bit. But instead I choose to get out and live the most amazing life I can live. I spend time with the fabulous friends I have been blessed with. I find fun places to go and fun thing to do – and I go DO them.

   And sometimes, along the course of life, we draw blessings into our lives – like for me this morning. Call it “Law of Attraction” or “Blessings from Heaven” – call it whatever you want. I believe our Attitude drives our Choices, and our Choices determine our Destiny. So far I've done pretty good keeping a positive Attitude, and in return I have been blessed with an abundance of experiences, good and bad – and I choose to have those experiences that make me better, and not bitter.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOM & DAD!

Today would have been 78 years.

Lela & Dale Roe

My parents grew up together. Went to Elementary School together. Skipped 7^th Grade together. Graduated from Preston High in 1933, together. And on July 7, 1936, they asked my mom’s step-father to drive them to Logan, they went to the temple together and were Sealed for Time and Eternity, and then went home. No fancy clothes, no reception, no one with them – and not even one photograph from that day. It was the middle of the Depression – they wanted to get married, so they got married. It was that simple.

   They were married 63-years when my mother passed away, and Dad missed her every-single-day until he joined her 5 years later. He literally couldn’t remember his life without her in it. And I never had any doubt that my dad absolutely LOVED & ADORED my mom. I knew it, she knew it, and everyone that knew them knew it.

   Not that life was easy for them. They got married during the Depression, and then WWII came along. They were married 10 years before they were able to have any children, and when my brother Michael was 4-years-old he was hit by a drunk driver right in front of their house – leaving them again childless. About a year later my sister Fran came along, and when she was 13-years-old they decided to adopt me. They had lots of ups-and-downs – like everyone does, but they came from an era where people understood what marriage really means and they always worked things out because that was the only option they could even imagine.

   I am grateful for amazing parents that loved each other and loved me. I am grateful for an amazing example of what Love and Dedication can really be. It can still be like that. Anyone can have that. My parents had that because they wanted it – and they worked at it, every single day. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

   Yes, I did it again – my Big Birthday Bash. This year, about 250 people – it was AMAZING! Great friends, family, food, fun. And I did it because it’s what I do: I Celebrate. I look for opportunities to celebrate life. And despite ups-and-downs, I definitely have a life to be celebrated!

   “Another year older and another year wiser” – I’d say that is definitely true this year. Twice each year I get very introspective: New Years and my Birthday – and fortunately they’re about 6 months apart. I have been thinking back to New Years – because that’s when this last “episode” all began – and I never could have imagined all that happened, and especially not the tragic, heartwrenching ending. I am still deeply wounded and reeling from the heartache, but I am also determined to remember the good times and learn the lessons that are there – and there are plenty of lessons, and I am learning them and sharing them.

   And now it’s time to look forward again too, and make new plans for the new future ahead of me. I am still blessed with amazing friends, whose love and support has been amazing. I am still blessed with an amazing job – which continues to get better and better (and which pays freakishly well). I am still blessed with an amazing family that I cannot imagine my life without. And I am still blessed with the most tremendous ward and ward family.

   So, these past few days I’ve been asked: “What do you want for your birthday?” After thinking about it, here’s my Birthday Wish List:

• Peace – I have knowledge of my Savior’s love for me, and peace in knowing I am blameless before Him.
• Love – If not the love of a husband, then the amazing love of family and friends that surrounds me constantly. 
  
• Hope – Hope for a different but amazing future, filled with success and prosperity, joy and happiness, and knowledge that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.
• Happiness – Despite still having many tear-filled nights, I am also blessed with an abundance of happiness. Happiness in the gospel. Happiness in a life filled with love. Happiness to not let the Sins of others destroy me and to always turn toward the Light.
• Forgiveness – I forgive – not because it was asked for (and probably never will be), but because I refuse to let hurt and anger consume me. I forgive because I deserve a heart that is healed. 

   So I am choosing to live a fabulous life filled with tremendous opportunities—and lots of fun. I have a number of trips coming up. I am embarking on a new “hobby” with SendOutCards, and having a blast with it. My Training Career is doing amazingly well, and new opportunities are appearing in my life constantly.

   It has been a Happy Birthday. It has been a Happy Life. Certainly there are ups-and-downs, but I choose to live a happy life – and I have so many amazing blessings in my life now that the future can only be even better tomorrow than today. And for all of you that bring that amazing gift of Happy-ness into my life, I thank you.

MY GIFT TO YOU:  As I have been so blessed this birthday, I want to give a gift to all of you!

Go to: www.SendOutCards.com/157713 -- then scroll to the bottom and select SEND A CARD. You can send a FREE card to anyone -- and the postage is included!

ONE YEAR LATER

I can’t believe it’s been a year. And what a year it’s been! One year ago this week I wrapped up the last of the messy details of my divorce, and saw my ex for the last time. After 17 years together, I never thought it would end, let alone that it would end like that. I used to wonder how people that had been so in love could have such a horrible relationship after a divorce – I don’t wonder anymore. I understand. Sadly, I understand.

And a year ago I was incredibly sad and hurt, as anyone would be. I didn’t understand it then, but there is a grieving process. Not just for the loss of the relationship, but for the loss of Hope – the hope that things would get better, that it would all be worth it, that we could get through anything. But sometimes saying goodbye is the right answer; and for me it was the only answer.

I was sad. And I let myself be sad (although I tried to not show it much). But I also faced the realization that my whole future had just changed – and I had no idea in which direction to head. So I thought about it, prayed about it, wrote in my journal constantly – and came up with at least the first steps of a plan for my new life. And then I let go of the sad.

Some people think I was just faking “Being All Better” – well, of course I was! But I also came to the conclusion that if I had felt any doubt about the divorce I wouldn’t have gone through with it. But I knew it was the right answer, the only answer – and I trusted that, so “Being All Better” was really the only choice.

Not that it’s been easy! Living alone after nearly constant companionship for 17 years is a HUGE adjustment. (And getting another dog did NOT fill the void.) Having to take care of the whole (way too big) house has been daunting. There are a million little details I never had to deal with that are now on my plate. And ending up with all of the bills and financial responsibility (although TOTALLY worth it for the divorce to get finalized) has required excruciating belt-tightening.

Yes, I’m a year older – but certainly a year wiser too. Or maybe a lifetime wiser. It’s weird to think it’s been a year. In some ways it seems like just moments ago. Yet in some ways – especially as I see all the ways I’ve grown and learned – it seems like a lifetime ago. And maybe it is. This past year has been a journey into my new life, and I’m happy with who I am now and where I’m going.

This is MY life! Yes, I make mistakes – but they're all mine to make. Not that my marriage was all bad, but there are certainly things I blamed him for. And I can't blame him anymore. I have this quote on my wall, and I'm working on having this new phase of my life be everything I want to be.

Valentine's Day

When I was a kid I loved Valentine’s Day. I remember my dad always buying my mom a Valentine Card (a really nice one from Hallmark) and a big heart-shaped box of chocolates. I never doubted that my dad loved my mom whole-heartedly and completely, just as she loved him. They had been friends since they were little – going through elementary school together, skipping 7^th grade together, and getting married at only 19. They had been married 63 years when she passed away – and he missed her EVERY SINGLE DAY for the next 5 years until he joined her. They literally spent their whole lives together – and especially on Valentine’s Day, they did a great job showing their love to each other.

And it wasn’t just my mom that got special treatment on Valentine’s, because Dad always bought me a cute card and my own little heart-shaped box of chocolates too.  It was the kid-version, but since I was a kid, it was PERFECT. Not only did I know that my parents loved each other completely, but I never once doubted my father’s love for me too.

Even though I may not have a “Special Someone” in my life this year, as I see all those heart-shaped boxes of chocolate lining the store shelves – I smile. I smile because I have been blessed with great love in my life. I smile because of the great memories those boxes conjure up. I smile because I know that love is much more than just a romantic notion but something that touches and enlarges your heart. I smile because I still believe that I can have a love like that my parents shared.

Some people don’t appreciate Valentine’s Day, but even single, I still do. And one day I’m hoping that I’ll again have a wonderful, loving man in my life that will buy me my very own heart-shaped box of chocolates.

Favorite Pens

Everyone has one – one of those pens that makes your handwriting look good and just feels so natural in your hand. I love pens like that!  A number of years ago I got a beautiful Pen Box for displaying my pens.  It has a glass top so that all of my favorite pens can be seen, but not touched.  When I moved the box got put away, because my ex could never find a pen and would just grab one of my favorite pens – and then IT would disappear.  So my Pen Box has been sitting in its own box, tucked away in storage.

This weekend when I cleaning out a few boxes, I came upon this Pen Box.  It was like being reunited with an old friend!  My heart leapt a little, and I stopped everything that I was doing and carried the box to a place of honor in my Living Room.

And this Pen Box contains more than pens – it contains memories.  The pen Marg & Lee (my Mormon Godparents) gave me for High School Graduation.  The pen my boss at Franklin Covey gave me as a gift for writing a proposal that landed a $2 million contract.  A pen that belonged to my dad when he was the age I am now.  The pen I splurged on in Denver on vacation just because it felt so good in my hand.

I ran upstairs to grab some paper and sat down to write.  A few of the pens need new refills, but there is just something so grand about a GOOD pen.  I felt that with that pen in my hand I needed to write something important.  I felt like I could have written the Declaration of Independence with this accumulation of strength from these pens.

And that’s so true – there is strength in pens.  And not just in a Mont Blanc.  But the strength comes from what pens can do.  With a pen in hand: you can teach a child to write, you can witness a marriage, you can profess your love to someone, you can write a poem, you can sign a divorce decree, you can write your Last Will & Testiment.

Next time you’re out, splurge a little a buy a nice pen – and then let it do what pens should do.  Pen in hand, pen to paper – write something from your heart, and then share it with the world.

 

"The pen is mightier than the sword -- and considerably easier to write with." -- Marty Feldman

 

Grab a Tissue -- and read THIS story with your family on Christmas Eve

Maybe I'm hypersensitive because my sister adopted 3 Russian Orphans, and they have shared their stories with me too. I remember their first Christmas and those eyes filled with wonder. This is definitely my favorite new Christmas story this year, and it's just too beautiful to not share.

In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Dept. of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on Biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments, and a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage. The two Americans related the following story in their own words:

It was nearing the holiday season in 1994 and was time for our orphans to hear, for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger.
   Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word. Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger.
   Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. (No colored paper was available in the city.) Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw.
   Small squares of flannel, cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia, were used for the baby’s blanket.
   A doll like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States.
   The orphans were busy assembling their mangers as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat—he looked to be about six years old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy’s manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger.
   Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of them and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately—until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger.
   Then Misha started to ad-lib. He made up his own ending to the story as he said, “And when Maria laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him I have no mama and I have no papa, so I don’t have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with him. But I told Him I couldn’t, because I didn’t have a gift to give him like everybody else did.
   “But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I kept him warm, that would be a good gift. So I asked Jesus, ‘If I keep you warm, will that be a good enough gift?’ And Jesus told me, ‘If you keep me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave me.’ So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and he told me I could stay with him for always.”
   As little Misha finished his story, he eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed.
   The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him FOR ALWAYS.
   -- (author unknown)