Happy 100th Birthday, Mom!

100 years ago today, my mother was born.  Lela Bodily Allen Roe was born the youngest of 6 children, two of whom had died as infants. When Mom was only 6-months old, her dad went to Mexico and got a divorce – and then came home and told Grandma that they were divorced. It was 1916 – Grandma didn’t have any education, and in 1916 Women didn’t even have the right to vote. She did the only thing she could do – she packed up her 4 young children and moved back in with her parents. Mom loved her grandparents, and they did a lot of raising her – so much so that she named me after her much-loved grandmother.

   Then when Mom was 7 years old, her aunt died – leaving Uncle Frank to raise 3 children alone. Being a very practical woman, my great-grandma talked Grandma into marry her brother-in-law – so that all these children would have two parents to raise them. Just a few months after their mother died, my mom’s cousins became her step-siblings – and her Uncle Frank became her step-father. Uncle Frank was a difficult main – and he seemed heavily-burdened about now having to care for 7 children, plus 2 more that came later. Even my dad (who always liked everyone) described him as “a man that used to beat horses” – a description I didn’t understand until much later in life, because only a bad person would beat a horse. As Mom’s siblings (all older than her) grew up, they left the house as soon as they could – just to get away from the unhappy home life.

   Fortunately, Mom and Dad, who had grown up together in Preston, Idaho, eventually started dating, and fell in love – and on July 7, 1936, they were married in the Logan Temple. Dad was attending Utah State University in Logan, so they lived in Preston so he could graduate and continue to work at the family newspaper. Things were going quite well for the newlyweds, and Dad even managed to buy-out his grandfather’s share of the newspaper when he was only age 23. But when World War II started, everything changed. They sold the paper, and Dad and his father both worked on the war effort. Dad traveled around the country doing military training during the war, which meant that he and Mom were separated for most of the next few years.

   Finally, after the war, Mom and Dad settled in Oakland, California. Just as they celebrated their 10th anniversary, they were finally welcoming their first child into their family. Mom always loved babies, and I’m sure she would have had a dozen if she could have. And no doubt she adored Michael after so many years of waiting. But when he was only 4-years-old, Mike was hit by a drunk driver right in front of their house – and he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. And again, they were childless. The pain of losing Mike is something that Mom never got over. Even though she lived another 50 years, she couldn’t bring herself to say his name or even have a photo of him around – it truly broke her heart beyond repair.

   Her life wasn’t all sad. She adored Fran (who came as a great blessing about a year after Mike died), and she surprised everyone when she adopted me as an infant when she was 50-years-old. And although they never had much money, there always seemed to be enough to do what they wanted and needed to. Mom loved being a mom. She was proud of Fran taking dance lessons and playing the piano – and what a great student Fran always was. And Mom went back to work when I was little – partially to help with family finances, and partially because she’d been raising kids for 20 years before I even came along. She loved working at Beehive Clothing – and the “Ladies at The Center” were not only her coworkers, but also some of her dearest friends. Between Rook Club, Study Group, and being the Bishop’s Wife – Mom was blessed with amazing friends. She was always quietly in the background, while Dad was the one in the spotlight – but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. She was proud of him, and he truly couldn’t have done the things he did without her love and support. She did an incredible job with the family finances, and she took care of everything at home.

   Dad could speak in front of thousands, ran one of the toughest wards in the entire church, and even had a television show for a while – yet Mom never spoke publicly. In my entire life, I never heard her give a talk, or a prayer, or even bare her testimony at church. She was always the Ward Librarian, or the Primary or Relief Society Secretary – something so that she could serve, but could do so quietly in-the-background. She didn’t go to my sister’s mission farewell because she was afraid that the bishop would call on her to speak. Mom even used to bribe bishops with her handmade Divinity candy so they wouldn’t call her to anything public. When I was about 14, Mom realized I’d never heard her testimony. She wasn’t about to stand up in Sacrament Meeting, so right there in our kitchen she bore her testimony to me – just to me. She couldn’t bring herself to say it publicly, but she wanted me to know that she believed and that her testimony was important to her. And I will cherish that Personal Testimony Meeting for the rest of my life.

   After Dad retired, they dragged me kicking-and-screaming to move to Utah – to be closer to their grandchildren. Mom loved being a grandma – and although it drove Fran nuts, Mom would spoil her grandchildren every chance she could. She loved having them all come over, and in her eyes they could do no wrong. Being in Utah also gave Mom and Dad the opportunity to serve a mission, and they served on Temple Square for 7 years – although I think eating lunch at The Lion House every Monday was part of the appeal also.

   Mom and Dad were married 63 years when Mom died, and they were still very-much in love. I never saw my parents fight. They were constantly supportive of each other. And even into their 80s, they still held hands and kissed goodnight. And I never doubted just how much my Dad adored my Mom. They were very different, but they were the perfect balance.

   100 years ago there weren’t hamburger buns or toggle light switches. She was born before pop-up toasters, Band-aids, and Eskimo Pies. She was literally born before Sliced Bread and Bubble Gum was invented. When I think back to all the things she saw come into our daily  lives, and when I think over the amazing life that she lived – well, it’s a bit overwhelming. 100 years ago today may not have been a big day in the history of the world, but it was a big day in my life – because it was the day the gentlest soul in the world was born. No doubt I tried her patience (on more than one occasion), but I never doubted her love for me. And although she had much sadness in her life, including struggling with Parkinson’s Disease for 20 years, she always responded to everyone with love and tenderness.

   I know she’s in heaven watching over me – and probably miffed that I just told everyone her age. But I don’t care, because April 30, 1916, was truly an amazing day in the history of the world – because it is the day Lela Bodily Allen Roe was born. It may not be recorded in the annuls of time, but to those that knew and loved her, it’s a day for which we are all grateful.

   Happy Birthday, Mom!