Spam –
when you hear the word, do you think of the so-called “meat” in a can, or the
stuff that shows up in your inbox every day? And what about a Virus – the kind
that makes you sick, or the kind that makes your computer sick (which makes you
just sick)? Today I was dealing with both Spam and Viruses.
First,
the Spam – not the “meat” product (and no, I can’t just call it a meat product
without the quote-marks – it simply doesn’t qualify). I made the mistake of
making a comment on a controversial post in a Facebook Group that I belong to –
and I have since had to delete over 300 email responses posted after me. With
my bulging inbox, I determined to take the time to Unsubscribe from a number of
email lists that I never even bother opening anymore, just to streamline my
daily email deluge.
Spam, as
a kid – well there was only one kind, and it was in the EXACT same packaging
that it’s in today. I remember my mom slicing it up and grilling it in her
green cast-aluminum frying pan – and then scrambling the eggs in the drippings.
We had it for dinner every couple of months or so, probably on one of the days
when she had worked – because it made for an easy dinner, and it was one of Dad’s
favorites (which is probably why I liked it too). And this summer, at the ProvoFarmer’s Market there was a fabulous Teriyaki Chicken Bowl place that
made what I can only refer to as Spam Sushi – which was slices of ham,
surrounded by white sticky rice, and wrapped in a sheet of seaweed. And it was
amazingly good – and is apparently a delicacy in Hawaii.
Then the
Virus – the computer kind. Ugh! I’d rather have had a cold. But I downloaded
some Freeware over the weekend (for a reputable program that I have used for
years), but apparently this download now comes with all sorts of extra CRAP. For
the past few days, every time I opened an internet window, there were popups
and all sorts of “extras” – and I couldn’t uninstall them. And even my Virus
Software was having trouble uninstalling it. Plus the whole thing was making my
entire computer run slower, even when I wasn’t online. So I used my work laptop
to do some research to find out how to fix my personal laptop. An annoying
afternoon and 4-wasted-hours later, and it’s finally resolved. And there’s no
way I’m going to ever download Audacity again – it’s a great program, but
totally NOT worth the hassle. (Fortunately a computer-type Virus is the only virus
I’m dealing with – knock wood!)
We pick
and/or make-up the oddest words in the English language. Until a few years ago,
Spam only meant “meat” product – now it has stronger meaning in its email
counterpart than the Hormel company could drum up in the past 80 years. And
just the other day a friend posted that his daughter wanted to play that game –
you know, where we all go outside and chase each other around? Hashtag! Ummmmm,
close. Words like hashtag, selfie, social networking, gamification, and
fracking all made it into the dictionary this year. Fracking? If I’d been
caught “fracking” when I was a kid, I probably would have ended up grounded.
Not that my parents would have had a clue what it was, but that it just didn’t
sound that a good think to be doing.
I love
the English language. I love the use and beauty of words. And I guess I love
that we can still create new ones. I mean, even in reading Shakespeare there
are words that have very different meaning today than in the year 1600, like:
bastard, which was a wine; dildo, which is a part of a song; topless, meaning
nothing tops it (aka: without superior); kindle, when animals bear their young;
gleek, which meant to scoff; leech, which is a physician [ok, I can see that
one]; and teen, which did not describe a person of youth but a feeling of grief
[maybe that’s where it comes from???]
I
frequently use newer words like: yummilicous, craptastic, cloogy, thingy, and
my new favorite: caraoke – which is singing very loudly in the car. [Yes, some
I make up, and some are gleaned from societal use.] Undoubtedly there will be
more words in the future, and I’m quite sure that I will keep making up some of
my own too. And although English Professors everywhere may hate the
bastardization of language (having nothing to do with wine, in this case) – I
love that our language is still alive, and growing and changing. It’s organic
in nature, and morphing to meet the needs of society. So as long as our society
continues to evolve, so shall the English language. I just hope that I can keep
up.
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