DAY 57 - DÉJÀ VU

Today I had a morning filled with job interviews with AAA. It was a lovely coincidence that they flew me into Oakland to interview at their corporate office (and offered to extend my airline ticket since I mentioned I am from there). And when I was chatting with one of the interviewers and we were discussing places around Oakland, it turns out that she lives just a few doors from the home I lived in as an infant. I had even taken a photo of it to send to my sister, and showed it to her. Although it totally derailed the interview, we had a lovely visit about Oakland and the area – so much so that we (although we had just met) we hugged at the end of the interview. (Here’s hoping she is the final decision maker for hiring!)

   And the other day I was driving through the hills of Berkeley, California, and drove through a neighborhood that I didn't really remember from growing up. But as I drove up this particular hill I remembered that a few months ago I had a dream that I was driving through this exact neighborhood. It was the exact houses, facing the exact direction, at the exact time of day. And a very strong sense of déjà vu came over me.

   Now I’m neither a big believer in “coincidence” nor in “déjà vu” – but the sensations that came over me both times are very familiar. This wasn’t the first déjà vu that I have had – but it's also not something that happens to me very frequently.

   I still remember my first déjà vu:  I was 10 years old. I had been raising rabbits, specifically lop-ear Checker Giants, for a children's amusement park in Oakland at which I worked called Children's Fairyland. I had the girl, Priscilla – and my best friend had the boy, Peter. (I know, Peter Rabbit, not very original!) Anyway, the girl rabbit had just had a baby bunnies – but the raccoons had gotten to the cage – it was horrible. Utter mayhem. And there, talking on the phone to LoLo (see blogpost from a few days ago here), the woman in charge of the Petting Zoo, I had a déjà vu. I was just standing there in my kitchen, next to my dad’s typewriter. I still remember it all very clearly – it had that big of an impact on me.

   My personal philosophy about déjà vu is this:  It means that “you are where you are supposed to be”. I think that maybe they are leftovers from the pre-existence. That maybe, just maybe, we got to see little snippets of our life – and these pieces are just remnants that didn’t get erased from our memories in the pre-existence. I like that – that sense of the clarity from something that you know isn't a memory from this life.

   So this past week in Oakland, driving around the Bay Area – I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Even with all the craziness and weird detours that my life has taken, somehow I am exactly where I am supposed to be. In some ways that is frustrating – like I knew all this crap was going to happen, and I still signed up for this.

   But in a larger sense it is very comforting. Like my life is on track. I am doing what I'm supposed to do. And I am where I am supposed to be. Like meeting Janice today at AAA, and having so much in common with her – down to the same street (a street with less than 20 houses on it) – it was just like reconnecting with an old friend.

   Call it coincidence, déjà vu, fate, kismet, destiny, or chance – to me it is confirmation that I’m where I am supposed to be. Which is great – because I am just WHERE I want to be, and I am WHO I want to be. And I have an incredible sense of peace that everything is going to work out just fine.