Mormons
have a few “rituals” frequently observed, and among them: Visiting Teaching – which is basically just a few
women getting together to go visit a few other women (and leave them with a
“message”) once each month. Although it can happen any time during the month,
it’s usually the last few days, because Mormons procrastinate just like the
rest of the world.
We go
Visiting Teaching in pairs – and I have a wonderful new partner: Stephanie
Barlow. Stephanie just graduated from high school this year, so this is all new
to her – but she’s a trooper about it. Stephanie is a beautiful blonde young
women, quite into fashion – and with a passion and love for music and singing.
And she has a few Special Needs – along with the other PHYSICAL challenges she’s
faced her whole life, she has also recently started going blind.
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| Stephanie Barlow |
Today we
visited Michelle Corbin. Michelle designed the Joyfully Read program, and
helped Stephanie with reading for years. And Michelle is one of the sweetest
women you will ever meet. She gently brings Stephanie into the conversations,
and asks questions to get Stephanie to open up and share her new schooling
experiences with us. As I watched Michelle gently touch Stephanie’s shoulder
with each question, and genuinely laugh as she shared – I watched a woman who
is not only an expert teacher, but teaches with great love.
The other
woman we visit is Sondra Hudgens. Sondra is a hoot! She always has hysterical
stories from just the regular goings-on of family life. Sondra is
Stephanie’s piano teacher, and is astoundingly patient and loving with her. Sondra is probably the most easy-going person I
know. Even when dealing with extremely difficult circumstances (and sometimes
people), Sondra finds a reason to shrug her shoulders and laugh it off. She is
definitely someone that understands that sometimes “Life is what Life is” – so
why try to fight it. She is a roll-with-the-punches kindof gal, and that is certainly something that I am trying to learn from her example.
It’s a
great experience to have the opportunity every month to get to know these
fabulous women better. OK, I have to admit that I’m a bit weak on the “message”
part – so basically we just show up and visit for a while. There’s a deep
philosophical lesson published somewhere that I’m supposed to print off and
take with me – but most days I’m lucky if I remember to wear shoes, so I just
run with it. And so far, no one seems to mind.
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| Marie Baird (and me) -- she's been my Visiting Teacher for years |
But
apparently there are some women who have “issues” with various aspects of
Visiting Teaching. Either they: don’t like their partner; don’t like who they
visit; don’t like who visits them; don’t like it when there IS a message; don’t
like when there isn’t. Whatever! One of the great lessons that I have learned
in life is the importance of having women to share with and learn from.
Over
the years I’ve had some great Visiting Teachers, and had the opportunity to
visit some amazing women. And there is one lesson in particular I learned when I
was 18:
I had
just moved away to college, and the next day my mom fell and broke both arms.
BOTH! At age 68 she wasn’t up to much, so I immediately moved back home to help
my parents out. Dad had fallen a few days earlier and messed up his shoulder –
so between the two of them, they really needed the help. Because the term had
started, I stayed in school fulltime and commuted – plus I had a parttime job.
I took
care of the house, meal prep, cleaning, laundry – everything! Mom couldn’t even
brush her own teeth. She just sat there all day watching TV, because it was all
the strength she could muster to even push a button on the remote control.
A
neighbor came over to see what the Visiting Teachers could do to help, and
my mom declined. (Although I was downstairs, I could hear the whole
conversation.) Mom actually said, “Oh, we’re fine. Gena has it all under
control.” WHAT?!?!? I had nothing under
control! I was carrying 15 credits at school, commuting an hour each way every
day, working 20+ hours, and trying to take care of both injured parents. It was
crazy, and I felt wayyyy over my head.
And,
Karen Larkin, this dear sweet neighbor, turned to my mom and said something
close to: “Lela, you always volunteer when someone needs a meal or some help.
And you know how great it is to be of service. How can any of us ever have the
blessing of giving service if no one is willing to accept it? You have the
opportunity now to give these other women a chance to be of service.”
Not only
did Mom relent and allow a few meals to be brought over, but both Mom and I
learned a valuable lesson about giving and receiving service from other women.
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| Kaye Nelson, me, Callie McKay Because VT doesn't have to be boring! |
So I’m
grateful for Visiting Teaching – and especially these marvelous women that it
has brought into my life. Because not only do women need women, but I need
women – to counsel, learn, laugh, and cry with. And there has been much of that
lately – and hopefully much more to come.
Visiting Teaching is a way to help us care for and about each other. It is a
way for us to develop the characteristics of a follower of Jesus Christ. It is
a way to make sure that no one in the Lord's kingdom is alone. -- Mary Ellen
Smoot, RS General President 1997-2002
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