DAY 16 - LIFE IS BETTER WITH FRIENDS

There are a few things I have learned through life – and one of them is the incredible value of friendships. One of the greatest blessings in my life is the quantity of quality friends with whom I get to share my life. The past few days have been very friend-oriented, and have reminded me of this great gift of friendships.

   New Friends: With my work contract ending, I have been saying goodbye to new friends – a few that I know I will stay in contact with. As with most jobs, there are some people that you just work with – and then there are those coworkers that you really connect with. I am grateful to have made a few more of those friends this past year. One such coworker/friend was my Morning Wake-up Call at 6am for a few months (because he lives East Coast) – we clicked so well that he was referred to as my Work Husband. We worked well together, got an amazing amount of work done, and developed a lasting friendship. 

   Recent Friends: Today I went to lunch with a cherished friend, then spent most of the afternoon visiting with friends from my previous employer, Morinda/Tahitian Noni. In the year since I left Noni, a TON of changes have happened. But through it all, there are still wonderful and amazing friendships that I developed in the 8½ years working there. As I mentioned to one friend today:  Noni Friends are Forever Friends. And it’s true, so true.

   Old Friends: Tomorrow I have friends coming to stay-over for a convention in SLC. These are fabulous women that I haven’t worked with in more than a dozen years, but that doesn’t matter. We were so close that the years truly just disappear. They’re coming to a convention, but I’m guessing it will be more like a Slumber Party at my house the next few evenings.

   More than Friends: For this contract at work, I was fortunate to have a dear friend join the project in April – and a few months ago we got assigned together to develop Training Content for this project. For most of the past few months Ekitzel Wood has been my houseguest, coworker, employee – and mostly my friend. It has been great to have someone around, especially someone that I get along with so well, enjoy so much, and have so much respect for. Tonight is her last night here, before heading home to Minnesota – and I will miss her. But I also know that this time together has built an even stronger friendship, and we will always be friends.

   I could go on and on, because I have truly been blessed with amazing friends. And throughout the Journey of Life I have been granted the opportunity to have some truly wonderful people come along. And one lesson that I am finally learning is the importance of staying connected with these dear friends. Facebook has certainly made it easier, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for the “Likes” and “Comments” – and the many Messages I receive. I’m not sure who the growing-number of people are that read my blog, but I’m grateful for the astounding love and support.

Notice the people who 

are happy for your happiness, 

and sad for your sadness. 

They're the ones who deserve 

a special place in your heart.

DAY 15 - ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END

It’s always hard when things have to change – but change is a necessary part of life. There has been a lot of change in my life recently – and apparently there is more on my horizon. For the past year I have had an amazing job, unlike anything I have ever worked on before – and I've been blessed to have some pretty amazing jobs in my life.

   Last October I got a job as a Contractor working on an amazing Customer Service Initiative at DirecTV. I was hired specifically for this project, so I knew that it would be coming to an end – originally intended for December. But, as contract work often does, my assignment transitioned – and when they found out my background they decided to have me focus on Content Development. And now all of the content is done, meaning that my part of the contract is over.

   I will miss it – the project, the people, and especially the paycheck – but that just means it's time for the next chapter of my career to begin. That was the plan all along, it’s just happening a little sooner than expected.

   So that's what today is: getting things prepared in order to begin that next part of my journey. Updating my resume, contacting some connections, getting things organized for another job hunt.

   And although this happened sooner than expected, I'm calm about it. I have no debt (except home mortgage), I have money in savings, and I have a great resume. And more than that – I have Peace. When I took this job I knew it would be a great opportunity and would be the stepping stone to the next level of my career, and I feel that even stronger now.

   So among the many things I am hoping to find along this 83-day Journey is also now a new job. I don’t know anyone that enjoys Job Hunting – but if at the end I have a new job that I love, then it is well worth the effort.

   Wish me luck. And -- the hunt begins.

The only way to do great work 

is to love what you do. 

Don't settle. 

If you haven't found it yet, 

keep looking. 

As with all matters of the heart, 

you'll know when you find it. 

-- Steve Jobs

DAY 13 - SATURDAY MORNING TREASURE HUNTERS

I’m sure I get it from my mom, this love of Yard Sales – she used to beg my dad to pull over EVERY time she saw one. And I’m not alone in this passion. I have DOZENS of friends that go to Garage Sales on a very regular basis – and a few of them that I run into frequently out-and-about at some random stranger’s house.

   When you think about it, Garage Sales are a bit odd.  First of all, the name is completely wrong: no one is selling their Garage, nor their Yard. Secondly, the whole premise: Let’s go to a Stranger’s house, dig through the stuff that even THEY don’t want anymore, and then let’s pay them even less than the bargain price they listed for these random items that they will likely just donate to charity in a few hours anyway. 

   Odd that is, unless you’re one of them: The Garage Sale Junkies. Then the whole viewpoint is different. Each Saturday morning is like an Expedition – you are on the hunt for buried treasure. Not sure what you are looking for, nor where you will find it – but you are certain that treasure is out there. Like an Explorer, you drive up and down the streets looking for “signs” (in this case typically neon pink or green) – and at the first sign of hope, you speed up to be the first to the site. Bursting from your vehicle (ideally an oversize SUV), you begin to dig . . . through boxes, piles, bags – searching, searching for “something”. Oh, and when you find a potential “something” – then that is when challenge begins. Because you don’t just want a treasure: you want a treasure at a bargain basement price. Haggling, definitely not my favorite thing – and definitely not a strength mine.

   Today I was on the Flipside – hosting the Estate Sale. Yes, it was truly an Estate Sale. No “Garage Sale” crap allowed. Nice furniture and belongings only. And despite the “8am to Noon – no early birds” specifically listed in the online ad – folks started showing up at 7:30am.

   Admittedly, hosting a Sale – garage, yard, or estate – is a LOT of work. There’s advertising, putting up signs, setting up tables, collecting all the items, pricing everything, etc. – 23 easy steps, according to WikiHow. So to keep each other motivated, a friend and I did this one together – mostly because we both need to eliminate some items from our life, but also because we knew we’d both procrastinate unless we held each other accountable. Not only is neither of us is looking for additional work in our lives, but it also means giving up a rare and highly-valued morning to sleep in.

   But there is a payoff. To begin with, Pay. Between the two of us we made over $800 – not bad for a 4-hour Saturday morning sacrifice. And beyond that, Freedom. There is a lightening, a freeing, that happens when you unburden yourself of “stuff” that no longer serves you. At the end of the day, the pile of empty boxes and bins is liberating. And knowing that these items are now finding value in the lives of others – including many friends that showed up today, is satisfying.

   Oh, yes, I will do it again – probably in a few weeks. I still have a rather large home containing far far too many things. But more than that – this freedom that I feel this evening is something I want more of. Letting go of a few things, makes it not only easier to let go of more – but is also very motivating. I want more of that freedom in my life.

   Just like this entire 83-day Journey: taking one step leads me to another, taking me farther and farther down the path. I’m just finding that it’s a different path than I had originally expected. And I’m OK with that, because this is MY path and MY journey – and I’m enjoying every step along the way. Especially since my knapsack is a bit lighter this evening.

DAY 12 -- CLEANING OUT THE PAST

I am a very sentimental person. And I have a lot of items filled with sentimental memories. I have my mom’s china, my grandma’s crystal, my dad’s college Shakespeare book. I cherish these belongings, I care for them, and they have great meaning to me.

   But as I walk around my house, there are other items – items with different memories. Items that remind me of difficult times. Items that make me sad. So as part of this 83-day Journey, I decided to clear those things out of my house and out of my life. 

   There were lots of items from my past, linked to past relationships -- those needed to leave. Big and little. Furniture and mementos. The bits and pieces of my life collected over the years that no longer fit who I am or where I want my life to go.

   So these past few weeks, I have filled box after box. Watching the pile grow taller and taller. Letting go of the memories. Letting go of the pain. Letting go of the past.

   A few pieces I have taken pictures of, because I no longer need the item but want to remember something about it. And, too, there few pieces I hope to forget.

   So, tomorrow my friend Sarah Knight and I are having an Estate Sale. She is in this “Cleaning Out Your Life” mode too. And together we have A LOT of stuff. It’s time for these cherished belongings to go and become new memories for someone else. They have served their purpose in our lives. It's time for them for find new purpose for someone else.

Never turn down an antique, even if it clashes. If it was your grandmother's and it's pretty, take it. Someday you'll be glad. 

DAY 11 - SEARCHING FOR THAT MOMENT

The other day I got a quote entitled "Dignity" from Natalie Ficklin-Holliday, and it really resonated with me. But I decided to rewrite it to fit me a little bit better. It’s all about Dignity being the moment you come to certain realizations – and I decided that I really wanted to find THAT moment.

1. The moment you realize that the person you cared for has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you, and you can follow any intellectual or spiritual path you choose.

2. The moment you realize God has greater plans – and you need to do more with your evenings than sitting around crying at night or pinning sad Pinterest quotes.

3. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others (especially the "Other Woman"), because it undermines your worth. He didn’t choose “Her” over you – he choose Sin over Righteousness.

4. The moment you live your dreams – not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do.

5. The moment you realize that no one is your enemy, and the only person you have to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

6. The moment you realize that you can have everything you want in life. However, it takes work, timing, the right heart, the right actions, the right passion, and a willingness to risk it all. 

7. The moment you realize the spirits of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved. They still care about you and love you enough to prevent you from spending your life with someone that acts anything less than honorable.

8. The moment you realize that happiness was never about being with another person. The whole point of marriage is to have a helpmate towards achieving your life’s mission – but you can achieve your life’s mission alone too. It’s YOUR life’s mission.

9. The moment you believe that love is not about the other person. Love is within yourself and something you give freely. Sometimes you have someone special to give that love to, and other times you have lots of people to share that love with. Love is about Giving Love.

10. The moment you realize that you were always the right person. That it didn’t work out isn’t your fault – and he only tried to blame you because he was so consumed with guilt for his betrayal. Marriage is a commitment between two people. When one person turns his back on the marriage, he is the one at fault. You can’t make it work when he is unwilling to try – letting go is the only option you have.

   I thought that’s what I was building up to with the 83-day plan, to get to THAT moment. That amazing moment when the stars will align, angels will sing, and I will understand why everything happened. I wanted that Perfect Lightbulb Moment.

   And that’s when I realized it’s not just ONE moment, but a string of moments. Some of these moments I’ve had. Some I’m searching for on this 83-day journey. Some of them may never come.

   But I have had moments, some great moments. And the best part of this 83-day Plan is that I stop at the end of each day to reflect on the day, and see what moments I had today. And that’s the moment I had today: the moment I learned to see the beauty of moments.

I believe everyday should have 

at least one exquisite moment.

-- Audrey Hepburn

DAY 10 - I LOVE TO SEE THE TEMPLE, ESPECIALLY FROM THE INSIDE

When I got engaged on my 29th birthday, part of marrying him meant giving up the temple. It was only supposed to be for one-year, but it turned into 18-years of not having the temple in my life – and I missed it, I longed for it. After the divorce, one of my first things was to get a Temple Recommend again. On my 47th birthday, exactly 18-years to-the-day since I had given up the temple, I went back – and ten cherished family and friends were there with me for that first session back.

   I have never lived more than 15 minutes from a temple. Even growing up in Oakland, the Oakland Temple was also our Ward Building. But for 18 years I didn’t set foot inside a temple. I knew that’s how things had to be then, but I get to live a different life now – and I choose to live a life that includes going to the temple every month. And so far, even with my crazy travel schedule, I get to the temple almost every month. 

   And I don’t say that to brag, but to share the importance of the temple to me. I know what it’s like to not have the temple in my life, and I know that I am happier this way. Don’t ever find out for yourself – just take my word on that one. And go every month, so you never get out of the habit of going. It’s too important to lose, and it’s too easy to take for granted.

   So today I went to the temple with my Temple Buddy, Kaye Nelson. Although she’s a temple worker AND goes regularly with her husband, she makes time to attend with me every month too. We’ve had some great experiences attending together, and attending the temple is a beautiful thing to share. To share with family, like when I was 6-months-old and was sealed to my parents. With friends, like Kaye today. And one day with a life companion that will not only promise to be sealed to me for eternity, but will follow-through on that promise.

The way you feel in the temple 

is a pattern for how you want to 

feel in your life. 

-- Elder Neil L. Andersen

DAY 9 - RAINDROPS KEEP FALLING ON MY HEAD

Today as the dark clouds gathered, and everyone else changed their plans to spend the afternoon indoors – I couldn't get outside fast enough. I love the rain!

   I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area, where it rained all the time when I was a kid. I remember having a yellow slicker, matching pink rain boots, and more umbrellas than I can begin to count. I was always losing umbrellas, and to this day I still hate umbrellas. I don't even think I own one anymore.

   The rain reminds me of being a kid. Taking my time walking home in the rain, and arriving home soaking wet – jumping in every puddle on the way home (which, of course, I denied to my mother). Even this afternoon, although I am certainly not a kid anymore, I went to the schoolyard and re-lived my Puddle Jumping days. Sure, I got a few strange looks – and I'm sure there were a few frustrated mothers trying to explain to their children why NOT to do that – but I didn't care. I jumped and jumped and splashed in those glorious puddles.

   A neighbor, Kristine Baird, saw me out in the rain – and generously offered me a ride home. I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy, and her kids in the backseat too, but being out in the rainstorm was exactly where I wanted to be – and I wasn’t going to cheat myself out of even a minute of it. So I politely declined, and watched her cute confused look as she drove away.

   Then there's the smell of the rain. That indescribable scent during a rainstorm – there's nothing like it. And the feel of the rain on my skin, my eyelashes fluttering as the drops are brushed away. And how soft my hair feels after being drenched in rain water. After the rain everything smells clean and fresh. The world feels clean and fresh. I feel clean and fresh.

   It's a great feeling. Like crawling into clean sheets at the end of a long day. Or going to the temple to do baptisms. Or being crazy enough to go for a walk in the rain without an umbrella.

   After a rough day at work, where all of your hard work gets picked apart. Or a few days at home all alone without any human contact. Or a few months of beating yourself up over being treated like crap by the one person that promised to love you forever. Yes, there are times that a cleansing rain cleanses the soul too. Standing out in the rain, letting each drop wash away the hurt and pain, the sadness and frustration, the heartache and betrayal. And after the storms of life, sometimes my soul needs a good burst of rain too. And hopefully tomorrow, a rainbow.

   But the best part about walking in the rain, is that with raindrops streaming down your face no one can see your tears.

The rain falls because the sky can 

no longer handle its heavyness. 

Just like the tears fall because the heart can 

no longer handle the pain.